Some mistakes

My soul’s unquenchable thirst for the more dismal nectars led me to this stone garden. Rusty barbwire vines crawl up concrete stalks, and undead copper blooms smeared with green patina abound. It’s just as I saw it in my fantasies: she’s in the black ruffled dress, dancing barefoot on a scrapheap beneath a bitter black sky filled with angry orange stars. I call her name from the valley, but she’s forgotten how to hear me. I run, arms wide, until I’m entangled in sharp metal that tears holes in my naked mind. I swear I can hear a girlish giggle bubble up from a crack in the scorched earth. Tomorrow, they’ll find the bloodstains, but there will be no one on record to whom they can trace them. Some mistakes become vicious re-runs. Some ghosts never stop bleeding.  

Reviews

[Esoteric Strand]

This one really speaks to me. Like a kindred, poetical ‘spirit.’ I hope you don’t take this as an insult, but sometimes I think we toil in the same mine, or serving time in the same gulag of verse. The closing lines especially. Vicious re-runs, bleeding ghosts, you’re speaking my language. The tearing of the mind, the dancing barefoot on the scrapheap. As usual, when I come across a piece I like, I have trouble articulating myself. Well done. You remind me of a me that can write! LOL

Regards,

E

[Mark]

"...the sharp metal that tears holes in my naked mind."
Jeeezum!
The Bard once called it, from the lips of a suicidal Prince, "the pangs of despised love". That is what I hear, here. The bitterness and the resignation are just way too fresh, it's almost painful to read!

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

Wow, so vivid. Each moment and step carefully described and chosen to complete the painful image.

[MuSe Ampoule]

Ghostly reminiscent of dark nights mulling over lost loves. 'Nother shot, 'nother round, 'nother useless memory. My heart would ache from your words if it wasn't gambling in Vegas right now.
"I swear I can hear a girlish giggle bubble up from a crack in the scorched earth." this is a really amazing lines ('cause, you know, all the others weren't [sarcasm])

[GrandDystopia]

This has some fantastic imagery, really nicely done:)

[heido]

"Some ghosts never stop bleeding."

This was actually very rattling, don't be suprised if it ends up in the inspiration of a poem by yours truely. I'm digging the handle by the way "serial kisser".

[schanzilla]

the more of your work that i read, the more into it i get. you are a master with images. "but she's forgotten how to hear me" that's genius. reminds me of just about every relationship i've ever had.

[Tim Lion]

You b*****d! ;) I wish I could write like this. It makes me think of a thousand mistakes....like when the s**t can't be put back in the horse....and it haunts and haunts forever. Very good.

[freelancejouster]

a bloody twist on chasing after the unreachable... i'll buy in. your words are a sensory overload, as usual, creating powerful, enchanting, frightening images that yell to be heard.

[Apathy To Empathy]

So much relation here, to me, and others...Thank you.

[Kerry O'Connor]

What I like the most about your prose pieces is the way you jam positives and negatives together in an unholy alliance and this one abounds in them - the metallic garden, the woman in black, the giggles coming from the scorched earth... It's like seeing a picture in super-heightened colours.

This is a particularly dark piece heightened by touches of extreme beauty.