one last mess

one last mess

 

Georgia pines wept mourner’s dew

moon reflected red on the knife

his wasted life stained her flowered dress

one last mess of his to clear

 

gravel pit voice squealed like a cat

she’d knocked him flat, then skinned him clean

violence echoed mean in her guts

but her demon was quiet,

and that was good

 

she dug the biggest hole she could

back in the woods, where no feet fell

nervous giggle when she kicked him in

Hell, she mused, belongs in the ground

 

gravel pit voice rolled like a storm

he’d knocked her flat, and bruised her deep

vicious thrusts rusted in her torn womb

a tomb for her broken love,

and that was all

 

cabin falls in the swarm of flame

shame burns bright; the light of freedom

she’ll flee, she’ll hide, she’ll change her name

but, she’ll never cower again

Author's Note

Reviews

[What happened to simple..]

wahey =) Great read to come back to, I love the different tones you got going on. The first three stanzas have a humour to them, sort of satirical, then the last it comes back down to Earth, her feelings - you do actually end up feeling sorry for the b***h; such a great innocent name for a devilish youth - though edging on 29/30.. she needs to grow up a little. I love the pictures your poems paint in my mind

[KAREN]

Every line I read was so deep and powerful! I really enjoyed reading this!

[cfix]

This is amazing!
I like the wording of this write alot.
It's quite the write and read.
Very nicely written.

[Robin]

in the pines such haunting lyrics and again so perfect for this piece

"Black girl, black girl, don't lie to me
Where did you stay last night?
I stayed in the pines where the sun never shines
And shivered when the cold wind blows"

[Wolf]

Very nice write man i loved the flow of things keep it up

[E.H. Monroe]

the big payback...James brown. There will be no cowering when you dump your unmentionables into hers. Now, she beats you, buries you and f***s your memory.

Right on

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

Amazing. Powerful. Dark. I love it.

this is so powerful and strong. i loved the word choice. nice!

[Kerry O'Connor]

I've heard that gravel pit voice before...
...and WTF actually goes on in the backwoods of Texas?!

This is a guttural, unrelenting gore fest... your male protagonists are disturbing enough, but the females are positively terrifying.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

WOW this is a very powerfull poem. every line better then the next. i really liked this