Antipathy

A loss of innocence.

Choking on violin strings,
Angels feed me with envy in their eyes,
While I join forces with Sparta,
A thousand tears from a thousand lies,
Pleading on my knees, I begin to die.
I no longer know what to know,
I no longer feel what to feel,
For I have been beaten with innocent words,
And strangled by nostalgic and melancholic symphonies,
Incessantly pushed to the edge with my troops waging war amidst my heart,
Undoubtedly burning in their own green fire,
I cannot decide nor leave it to fate,
Chance perhaps, but all I wish is for something more,
Lead me, Desire,
What is left of you that is,
Pain, pain, pain, pain,
Bitter, excruciating, agonizing pain
Disguised with the jest Miracle,
Accompanies me in this masquerade,
Hinders my every step,
Mocks my fatigued mind,
Oh! These brutal chains, no, no, no longer blind,
I see them; I feel them, their bind,
Bound and branded by the irony of freedom,
Rousseau, my dear friend, why?
How did you ever survive?
Never ending cycles of treacherous bliss,
Mania in my blood, mania in my bone,
These wings, steel-honed, bend and break under give and take,
Yet what does it matter!
Curse this life, curse this world,
Damnation!
I cannot think with tantalizing colors,
I cannot live with so many at once,
I cannot breathe with paint plastering pores,
I cannot listen with the silent brushstrokes of rage against my ears,
And I cannot speak with intoxication on my lips.
So be it.

Reviews

[Alessander]

This poem seems like a classic soliloquy of some ancient warrior, lover, poet lamenting to the gods. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure how it all ties together intellectually, from Sparta to Rousseau, the Romantic use of Personifying mixed in with random rhymes and sporadic allusions to war and art...however, on an emotional level it is very pleasing, albeit on the more melodramatic side. There seems to be a lot going on beneath the surface. I guess my only suggestion would be to keep the rhyme throughout, not necessarily in any preconceived format, but just here and there to keep it more musical, like the beginning.

[Catastrophic Dreams]

I must say that the first line just grabs you and it was just WOW! I haven't read a poem like this in a long time and it was a pleasure reading. The emotion that it evoked. The sadness the power that you have been able to create in this poem is amazing. Amazing work i must say.

[Ruth]

Wow!
This is intensely moving:)
Powerful and dark, you have a clever binding of words here, I think I shall really enjoy your writing! lol
Great poem!
xx

[Honeypot]

This has a real classic feel to it. It so strong and full of such feeling. It's really amazing. The final two lines are absolutely perfect and left me just sitting here letting in seep in. Brilliant job.