Aching June

Aching: 1) causing physical pain or distress or 2) full of or precipitating nostalgia, grief, loneliness, etc.

Aching June

by alice oiseau

*

I used to remember what your petals tasted like.

Now I only know the taste of a salty teardrop on an eyelash.

And I have thrown myself to my knees,

Giving all that was asked of me, giving all that you wished.

I bit my tongue till it bled for a year,

Because you asked me to.

But now photographs fade and turn to ash

Collecting in a melancholic memory.

             Foolish? Perhaps so.

            Naive? Quite possibly.

            Though I can never know for sure.

Upon my soul, I swear I remember a time

When color was true as your touch

Upon my soul, I swear I remember a time

When love was given as your friendship

Yet the swift rains have eroded grounds for reminiscing.

          Ack---! False memory? Merely a dream?

          No, no no! Written words are proof,

          Forget not of that.

         Of course.

         Of course...

         Two-fifteen a.m.; gray eyes welcome insomnia 

Once upon a time, I knew a moonflower.

Yes, once upon a time.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Kind of personal.
Though I think it conveys the inconsistency of thought, especially in this particular state of mind.

Reviews

[Gheeneil]

People leave for a purpose, whether the parting time is harmonious or not. Since roads are endless, time may take them back to each other again---a chance to make up and see what they make of themselves since the last time they met. What seemed to be unpleasant memories may, however, turn out to be the most wonderful encounters in life, even without the "reunion".

[Jared Hughes]

I seem to remember reviewing this. Hm. I guess I didn't. As usual, whatever you write is top-notch. You truly are a great writer Alice! Better than me in my opinion. Your poems always have an underlying meaning, and I consider this to be one of the best. Good job, I enjoyed this. :)

As I said before, don't let school get you down. It still amazes me how you can juggle AP classes at your school, and then still take classes at your college. Hope it pays off for you in the end.

Jared

[deleted]

This piece makes me see (good lipless imagery) the pain of love. How one feels after it is exhausted. Rather this is unrequited love or the demise of requited love, it shows how one feels afterwards. I think that this poem was very well constructed and I enjoyed reading every single line. Well done!

[fireblossom]

Well put together in its choice of language. You have real talent. I have some other observations but will hold them until I have read some of your other work.

[Honeypot]

Alice you're so darn talented! This is such a sad piece. To me it seems like some one saying "I'd done everything you've asked. I've given everything I have, yet its still not enough?!" It does have a very personal feel to it like you are opening yourself up for all of us to inspect. It takes a lot of skill and bravery tp put yourself out there like that. Bravo!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

It does convey quite well how the mind can be effected when the heart is broken... great reflection of loss and how it can make your whole world seem so unimportant. A truly wonderful write.

[nora]

aww. *hugs* jeez alice, now im all depressed xP
but this is really beautiful. i mean, practically everyone and anyone can relate to it, because i dont know anyone who hasnt had someone in their life walk out on them. and the flow is pretty, and even though the lines are long, it works for the poem, you know?

"Once upon a time, I knew a moonflower.
Yes, once upon a time."

i love that line. the repeat of 'yes, once upon a time' is really pretty, and sort of makes the reader think about it more than they might have if it was only said once, you know? great write, alicee

[Jibey]

Interesting reflections on times remembered and a sense of loss... C'est domage...

[J. Alexis Balaguer]

"Once upon a time" usually ends with "And they lived happily ever after."