In Gold

In Gold

by alice oiseau

*

Wrap me in gold.

 

And take me to the stars

where I'll walk one step after the other.

To infinity.

 

Hold me close.

So close so I can hear your Cimmerian heart undulate

against my breasts.

So close so I can see your lovingly deceptive eyes,

those that shatter my stone heart.

So close so I can touch your deepest desires,

written along my navel tonight.

 

And then

Steal my heart.

 

You sly silver-tongued man

Lay me down in black rosary, freshly fed from the drops of Lethe.

To oblivion.

 

Kiss me hard.

So hard so I can feel your snake tongue slither

down my throat.

So hard so I can taste your lips and the poison,

still wet and lingering on them.

So hard so I can leave your kiss and this world behind.

Fall. Dry. Decay.

 

And wrap me in gold.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

You be the judge.

Reviews

[Honeypot]

Wow! You are the poetry queen. You'll have to tell me about any metaphors that I've missed, but this is really fantastic, Alice. Its got such sensual and yes, erotic tones flowing through it that my heart was pounding as I read it. Then the final stanza completely blew me away. You've just got to tell me if there's hidden meaning. Ha! I'm not evening trying this time - just give me the goods. I love this! I think its my favorite of yours.

[Clockwork]

I liked the symbolism in the piece. The desire was burning and epic, of the most classic form. I would say that the flow of the piece was great down until the last stanza. I think lines two and six could use a wording adjustment to make them fit better. In line two I think that it would be good to add to or subtract from the phrase "snake tongue slither." I think when read it comes off a bit flat.

I think that this is your best work so far, with very few errors.

[Jared Hughes]

Wow. As usual Alice your poems and talent astound me. This is one of your best poems I have read. This poem was very visual and descriptive. Great job!

Jared Bryant