Et ego in Arcadia

It will be then I will cry.

Et ego in Arcadia

by alice oiseau

*

*

Before I was trapped behind these bars

I stole the secret of the stars

I was struck with the deepest yearn

And danced along the rings of Saturn

*

I sailed through the Milky Way

Where I listened to what Venus had to say

I spread my wings

And heard the most beautiful seraph sing

*

My eyes kissed the aurora

As I chased the euphoria

And the galaxies cradled me so

While I held onto the afterglow

*

I kneeled in the aisle of the sun

Found myself no longer able to run

And for just one night

Everything turned right

*

With comets I raced

Across the constellations I paced

Then came the eclipse

As the words sprung from thy lips

*

From heaven I fell

Heard the tolling of Donne's bell

But my last breath shant be taken now

For tis not my time to bow

*

Though when Luna shatters

And drops of silver cease to matter

I'll be missing the greatest lust

And watch shooting stars turn to dust

*

It will be then I will not be well

It will be then I pay heed to the tolling of Donne's bell

It will be then there will be no euphoria

It will be then I cry: Et ego in Arcadia!

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I think I went overboard on the rhyme scheme. I like rhyme, but perhaps this is too much, detracting from the essence of the poem. Opinions are welcomed.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Whew ! Got kind of hot in here toward the end.

Next to the last stanza where your lust turns to dust
and you return to the little town in California, in the
last stanza, Arcadia.

If the reader is to take you literally, your poems can be
a big thrill-----exciting, rousing and then collapse.

You created another exciting piece.

Exciting !

----- Eagle Cruagh

[Cliff Rhodes]

No, I like the cadence of the rhyming echo and it lends harmony to the singing of this ballad. Other wordly and suspended in another dimension is the painting I see in your words and they really ring out emotion beautifully.

[W.k.kortas]

You may be correct on the rhyme scheme; there are a couple of places--e.g, the third line of the first stanza-- where it has clearly boxed you into some clumsy phrasing. The meter is a bit all over the place, which (in my view) made the flow a bit choppy. The premise is good, and the framework of the piece is not bad, either. This could be quite good with some tightening and sanding of the rough spots.

[Suhcej]

Rhymes fit perfectly to this beautiful poem, it has many colors to it (as I see it), this piece really triggers something in the one who's reading.
Oh, the longing this brings me, I couldn't help to remember one of the most beautiful dreams I had.
This piece is excellent,
Never quit writing.

D. Suhcej

[Silvario]

I thought this was a beautiful read. I'm not to good with rhyme, so can only say that to me it seemed flawless. All in all, and as usual, you weave a creative, imaginative, powerful and expertly penned flow of poetry. Well done and write on! :)

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Hi there, and another great one.. I particularly liked the last few stanzas.. With comets I raced

Across the constellations I paced

Then came the eclipse

As the words sprung from thy lips

*

From heaven I fell

Heard the tolling of Donne's bell

But my last breath shant be taken now

For tis not my time to bow

*

Though when Luna shatters

And drops of silver cease to matter

I'll be missing the greatest lust

And watch shooting stars turn to dust


In the first few I do sense you were trying really hard to find the rythmic balance however the use of the words in meaning is what I think matters more.. it is truly a dreamer's write.. while the emotions contained show the slow death of a dreamer I think as a metphor... like a dreamer striving to find they have not fulfilled there destiny at the end of the road.. had such great promise and beautiful life and in the revelation of finding it undone in the end ... being able to cry.. I think that's what I take from it anyways!!! Thank you!! =)

[Greg Skura]

Well i enjoyed this solar poem emensely! Thank You for sharing!!!