Can’t see

You can’t see this hell i'm lost in because all I do is smile.
You can’t see the world I’m trapped in, I’ve been here for quite awhile.
You can’t see my broken pieces because I swept them all away.
You can’t see the wounds I’ve patched up, I hope that the stitches stay.
You can’t see my pain, because you don’t try looking farther.
I can’t really blame you, because my insides just get darker.

If I can’t even fix myself, who else is there going to be?
So just let me go, or wait until I break my demons free.
There’s nothing you can do, and I can’t rely on you.
You wouldn’t be of any help, it would only break you too.
And no you can not see my pain, but it’s really for the best.
I just hope you go and live your life to the absolute fullest.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy! Comments are appreciated

Reviews

[Melody]

Wonderfully written Sam. Just one thing I caught is the 'i'm' at the start. Keep on writing :D

[Sam]

Eek my editing skills did not catch that :p Thanks for the review!

[emipoemi]

oooooooooh! With all due respect, it was all going so beautifully until the end....it flowed well, had strong and vivid imagery, a compelling narrative, and then the last two lines got a bit sloppy in musicality and rhyme (and especially at the end is where you do not want to be sloppy). This is otherwise fantastically written. Well done!

[Sam]

Thank you, I’ll have to work on fixing the end. I have the hardest time with endings :0

[emipoemi]

You have the right idea there, it's just the musicality that's iffy, and the rhyme doesn't really match in the same way the others do.