Friend

I was discarded, left for dead
I was beaten, I was broken
And completely filled with dread.

Then you came with words unspoken
I had never heard their sound,
They where odd, and hard to say
But they made me float above ground.

Your words colored my dreary grey,
Words like "love" and "friend"
They helped me survive another day.
You helped me start to mend.

You didn't cringe or snicker
At the thoughts in my mind,
You still listened when I'd bicker
Or when I continued to whine.


All the words and thoughts I'd kept,
You took your time, and listened to.
My many layers you unwrapped;
And I know there's a lot that's due,
But I just wanted to stop and say
"thank you."

Author's Note

Was the rythem too choppy? What did you think of it as a whole?

Reviews

[ImSJ]

Well there you go then! After reading "Pain" I found this just the thing. Very hopeful. Fourth stanza last line wine should be whine. maybe change either I'd to I or continued to continue. Nice poem, nice sentiment, Sam.

[Sam]

Thank you for the review! The tips where very helpful!

[Sam]

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Eva CattyG]

In my opinion there was a little to big break in rhythm between stanzas. But if not counting this little problem, as a whole, it is a beautiful poem. I really enjoyed it. Good work!

[Sam]

Thank you for your review and the tips!
I wasn't sure about the rhythm :/ :/ I'll definitely have to work on it.

[Eva CattyG]

It is more about transitions from one section to next... the rhythm in sections in my opinion is very good