Whispering Rain

Sitting by the black window staring outside, watching people go by.
Looking at the birds flying free and careless in the clouded sky.

Rain falling slowly, hitting the window with a whispering sound and I ask myself: 'Why?'
Like the raindrops falling slowly from the sky, teardrops start falling slowly from my eyes.

All those years lost as I was running to catch up with time, carrying my bleeding heart as I again tried.

Frustration, anger, sadness running through my veins as the last remaining feelings of love, compassion, affection die.

As I turn to see my face in the mirror, sad eyes turning cold as ice.
Numbness in my soul as the rain fades away sky-high...

*Ş.Ü*

Reviews

[Twilight]

One wonders, if your emotional pain will pass in time; along with those rain drops and those birds passing in flight?

Of course, rain drops are also sometimes used as a metaphor for falling tears.

In the last paragraph, your eyes turn from sadness to icy "cold"; and your very soul experiences "numbness". So, what might these changes signify? This new state, may mean that you have become oblivious to those recent tears. And, your numbed soul hardened; and perhaps no longer so easy to upset?

[Şenay]

Again excellent description. Yes, the sky crying is used as a metaphor for falling tears. It is the last weeping of a woman who no longer has any feelings whatsoever for the man she used to love.

[Starr]

I can feel such pain in this write, quite an emotional write.

[Şenay]

Yes, it was difficult times, but time will heal I hope.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
read moreYes, it was difficult times, but time will heal I hope.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Take care, Ş

[Chris]

Seems so many of us KNOW that window all too well.

[emmajoygreen]

Wretchedly sad emotions on your heart's mirror.. a scar that neither quickly or easily fades - in fact, if ever.
Words said, promises made, emotions sewn as if on rags at times but - nonetheless felt as they disolve through every layer and part of one's body. Even numbness hurts as it fights to exist. Your words hurt.

[Şenay]

Such wonderful words.
Even numbness hurts as it fights to exist...
Thank you for your beautifully written comment

[Ballpark Frank]

This is unfortunately a reality for so many of us. We get hardened by pain.

[Şenay]

A defense mechanism against sadness and pain.

[Ballpark Frank]

I think it's why many of us here write.

[Şenay]

I believe to be able to write true emotion genuinely, you have to have experienced it. Having it on paper, so to speak, can help you better articulate and process your feelings.

[Ballpark Frank]

I see a few things here which could make this more powerful. Very slight things though.

In the 6th line, "and I cry" could be eliminated as it's assumed.
In the 8th line, you could eliminate "and tried...." it's a little redundant.

In the second to last stanza, eliminate the words "for you" and then "saying good bye" those are assumed.

I think fewer words make the reader fill in the blanks themselves. Just a few thoughts. I hope it's not too much. I very much realize my own writing needs edits too.

[Şenay]

Thank you, appreciate it very much.