SMOKING-PLEASURE/ADDICTION??

Smoking makes one drift toward itself and shows a false pleasure..but later one knows that it was all fake.

It was my choice,
to not to try,
try to smoke,
but i did move,
drifting into those circles,
which made me wanted,
to taste the dew,
to feel the pleasure...

He gave me one,
nicely lit and mended,
kissing its lips,
i sucked it in,
like those my peers did,
filling millions of molecules,
under one roof...

I coughed and exhaled,
starving for air,
for i felt,
i had in the fire,
but something made me to try again,
to repeat what all i did...

Again i kissed,
sucking its sweet aroma,
and i could feel the magic,
filling my lungs,
deep and drowning,
into the sea of nicotin,
i found a pleasure of life...

Two to three,
then three to ten,
i found it sweeter,
from pleasure to need,
and need to addiction,
i was lost,
and limits were crossed...

Now i'm a professional,
in smoking those packets,
but those pleasures are gone,
making me stick to it,
and unable to change,
i carry it further,
with a hope to quit,
but i know,
i had a choice,
choice not to try,
and a choice to live by...

Author's Note

Just tried this one.i haven't smoked yet and hopefull i won't try.just enjoyed writing this one..do give your critique reviews:)

Reviews

[Priya]

I think this poem touches upon a universal theme of not succumbing to temptation. Booze and cigarettes form one part of these temptations, universally recommended by almost everyone even though they are fully aware about their disastrous effects. Nice write. I feel you need to edit it, though.

[raymond]

i think this is very very good and i want you to keep writing

[E. Ryan Miller]

It is indeed sickening. At least I felt so. The imagery you convey gives the reader a sickened pleasure in reading. Again, work on capitalization, but other than that- nice write.

[Prashanth Ashok]

WOw !! Without actually smoking, you came up with the most perfect one !!

[Geraldine]

Very well described and very well said. ^^ For me if you try to smoke, it's like digging your own tomb. :) If you know it's bad then don't ever try it. Great theme, and there's actually lesson in here which I so love. Interesting write.

[Cathy Wattam]

Nicely written poem exposing smoking as the evil, life consuming hobby it is. Once hooked, one of the hardest things to give up. Best to not start in the first place.

It should say "into the sea of nicotine" and I feel it would read better to say "but something made me try again" without the word "to". Other than that, a very nicely written poem with an important message.

[Honey54]

I think its good u dnt smoke cigarettes those thingsare discusting! but anywho nice poem...I love how you describe the trials of a smoker...nicely done..looking forward to reading more of your work!

[Coyote Poetry]

Those bad habits can overtake us. Cigarettes is easy to become a habit. Have to lose.
"i had a choice,
choice not to try,
and a choice to live by...'
There is a lesson to be learn in this poem. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Zachary_James]

Very good i will NEVER smoke. Great Job

[Opposum]

Wow, this thing is like 3 days old and theres allready pages and pages of reviews.
I had someone who told me to read it and its good so double thumbs up :)