SUNKEN SOUL

A sunken love remain unburied in the hope to live once again.

Everything has been lashed off,
for my dreams were set alone those shores,
that i used to cheer,
adore,
and speak those endless stories,
in dark beautiful nights...

Over the surface i'm empty,
like those sunken islands,
with beauties miles down,
lying in silence,
away from rays,
away from life...

Infinite cries went unheard,
and tears mixed with sea,
but i still cry,
cry for those pearls,
for those memories,
yet with me,
dead and dark...

I'm still unburied,
for i wish to breath,
to live a life with her,
to rebuilt all with love,
with passion,
but unfortunately,
its an illusion,
which feeds my soul,
which keep me unburied...

Those rains do give hope,
for the world do turn green,
and i do believe,
that she'll know me,
my pain someday,
or maybe not???

Author's Note

Critique reviews welcomed

Reviews

[Nautili]

My favorite imagery in this is of the sunken island, it reminded me of the lost city of Atlantis... I like the idea of all the beauty and vibrant life being hidden from the surface. All the beautiful fish and coral now living in its crevasses....like a soul that has endured pain and loss, and a certain terrible beauty grows in its place, a wisdom and a profound patience to replace all the sunlit days.

[Manpreet]

Nice work here! In lines :I'm still unburied, for i wish to breath, use breathe instead of breath seems more appropriate! It is an awesome piece!

[Shay]

it is very beautifully written. i loved it alot