Carnage

I woke up every night,

from the same awful dream--

 

A cairn of torsos,

visceral wreckage

Surreal--

so it wouldn't have to seem

so real.

 

I'd wake up shaking

sometimes crying

and I'd beg you to help

to try and make it

go away--

and you'd say,

Trish, that's fucked up.

 

I never told you,

the animal was you;

the carnage was me.

 

Author's Note

I'm trying to restore these from memory--there's more to the last bit, I'm sure it'll come back eventually.

Reviews

[Brandon]

Very nicely done.

[Nick Erickson]

A very good description of the game of love.
Well done.

[the poet who never was...]

great imagery of predator vs. prey in human relationship context..

"A cairn of torsos;
Visceral wreckage" -------NICE!!!!

[Rob Welch , Master Of P..]

Wow. Nice job. You did an excellent job of expressing everything you needed to. I can feel the emotions pouring from it. Keep up the great work!

[Racheal]

I really like the images that I saw in my minds eye as I read this piece. It speaks to me of the hurt and pain within a relationship that is having some problems. I felt sad and upset and total empathy with you.

[E. A. Slayton]

I liked that you used the word cairn. rarley used word. it seems tofit so well in this kind of context, but i've never thought of it. I've always thought of a cairn in describing a pile of stones as would mark a grave, never as the dead themselves piled layer on layer. Excellent!

[Night_dragonfly]

The way that we scarifice ourselves for other people is unbelievable. I enjoyed this poem, because i can see where you are coming from. Keep up the GREAT work..:D

[Barry S. Maltese]

Oh what relationships do to people, when we give ourselves over so completely. As if we are sacrificing ourselves into the jaws of those who could so easily devour us. And how so many feast on the opportunity! Great poem. Very enjoyable

[Shannon K.]

Totally agree with Gandre. Its an amazing poem, with some very real, scary feelings lashed in there. Great job.
S.k.

[Gandré]

huh, scaring. leave him ! don't suffer anymore!