Apathetically Apologetic

First restore.... nothing new here!

Don't be so sad

when you see

my immunity

to the poison

you bleed

when you breathe

and you break

your heart open

for me

 

cause its not
your fault
that you're salt
in these wounds
that dont heal
my heart
you could steal
if only
i could feel
something real
at least more real
than this

 

this kiss

 

that's not his

and maybe not mine

said i was fine,

but i lied--it's a crime

for these two hearts

to beat

out of time.

 

i medicate

this lonely mind

with alcohol

and angry rhymes

so please save

your clever lines

for a girl

who's worth your time.

Reviews

[Melody P-]

ooooooooohhhhh I love this one!!
very smooth and well written*
heartfelt and true!! the way you came to close in the last stanza..very in your face* perfect!

[Rob Welch , Master Of P..]

Wow this one was awesome. It's so powerful and emotional. Glad I read it. Amazing job and keep up the good work!

[JlB]

Wow I read this with the beat of one of my poems that also uses the words

"don't be so sad"

and this was pretty good especially

cause its not
your fault
that youre salt
in these wounds
that dont heal
my heart
you could steal
if only
i could feel
something real
at least more real
than this

wow, powerful emotions I loved it. I basically read it like this though,

Cause it's not your fault
that your salt in these wounds that don't heal
my heart you could steal,
If only I could feel,
something real -at least more real
than this.

It was very melodic. Thank you.

jlb

[Fire]

I love this ... I've BEEN this ... very nice ... Fire

[Mad Mark]

Had to comment once more.....poison bleeding from the heart is a powerful image Way to go!

[Mad Mark]

The narrator comes across as critical of the one she's addressing but it seems more like she's down on herself. I like the rhythm and rhyme scheme very much. Tell her to watch her medicine intake. ;) Well done!

[Annelise]

"so please save your clever lines for a girl who's worth your time." This is a stunning poem. probably one of my favorites that I have found on this site.

[Barry S. Maltese]

Beautiful, and sad. In one poem you write how "love is blind" and now show love from the reverse angle. Nicely done. Your words dance across the page, and give us a painful view. Great job.

[Mark]

:)

"that youre salt
in these wounds
that dont heal "

[Laura]

I love this piece. I agree, you're style is very unique and refreshing. great work