Yellow Dress

A sad romance story

There was a man standing in the rain- no the snow- no no no. There was a man standing under a blue sky. He was wearing his sweatpant- his denim jeans and a nice t-shirt. He ran up to the girl in front of him and stopped to admire her beauty. She was wearing a blue- no yellow dress with white dots all over it. She blushed and looked towards the ground. He embraced her and she giggled. They kissed. Her eyes met his and she asked where he’d been and he said he’d been workin- no, lost, no more romantic- he said he had gotten swept up in the war. But he was back and he had brought his new baby blue convertible and he picked her up and placed her inside. She laughed, embarrassed by how easily she was picked up and stolen away. She said she didn’t have anywhere to be but right beside him and they laughed and kissed again. He started the car and said baby where you wanna go and she said just start driving and we’ll figure it out on the way. He reached under his seat and pulled out a CD. He put it in the CD player on his radio and it started playing their favorite song. She turned it up as loud as it would go and he turned the key and they drove off singing their hearts out without a care in the world. They knew they were in love and that was all that mattered. 



But this wasn’t my story, this was my fantasy. It was far from reality and far too perfect for a guy like me. I was that man, standin there. In the rain. It wasn’t a nice light mist either, it was pourin. I was in my sweatpants and the first t-shirt I could find to get out of my house and run over to her. Her name was Jackie, and she weren’t some skinny, flawless model in a yellow sun dress. She was a woman who had eaten well and dressed for the work she did. She was a laborer and could pin me down in thirty seconds. But I liked her that way. Jackie was one of a kind and I loved her for it. After I had gotten myself put in prison I was heartbroken that I wouldn’t see her any more. Shopliftin. I got put away because I took jewelry. It wasn’t for the money, I wouldn’t have sold it. I was drunk and feelin sorry for myself. Feelin sorry for us. And I thought Jackie deserved something nice. Somethin I couldn’t afford to give her. Technically, I wasn’t put away for the jewelry takin though. But it led to a chain of events that ended with me in jail for six years. I was in such a rush to get back home with my gift that I ran a stoplight. There was a crosswalk, and there was a woman usin it. The judge didn’t go easy on a DUI manslaughter.
The day after I got out, I ran straight to Jackie. She wasn’t my wife, but I loved her like she was, and those six years had just reinforced that in my head. Of course it had to be pouring. I ran over there anyway. I didn’t have a car and she lived a few miles away. Luckily the rain hid my sweat. When she came out of her home she looked as stunning as I had remembered her. The bandana in her hair was one I had given her for her thirty fourth birthday. She didn’t have a porch, so I was surprised when she stepped out of her house into the pourin rain. She stared at me like she had seen a ghost. I guess that was all I really was to her at that point anyway. Well when I saw her my eyes welled up with tears and I ran over and hugged her and I was so distracted with my happiness that I didn’t notice she wasn’t huggin me back at first.
I wiped my eyes, but it didn’t do much good considering the rain. I stepped back and realized that tears had started to creep down her face as well.
“Jackie, what’s wrong?” I asked. She didn’t answer me. Instead, she motioned for me to follow her inside. We sat down at her kitchen table.
“I’ll go get you a towel,” she stated and left me there before I could say a word. I looked around and found that her home looked nothing like it had before. Maybe she had gotten a raise at work and updated all her furniture. There were picture frames on the far wall that hadn’t been there before. Without my glasses, though, I couldn’t make out what they were of at all.
When she returned, I could tell that she had been crying. She set the towel on the table and sat down opposite of me. I took the towel and wrapped it around myself as I restated my question.
“Jackie, what’s wrong?”
“Stuart,” she started. At this point I knew I was in trouble. No one called me anything but Stu unless if I had done something wrong.
“Look, Jackie, I’m gonna be better. No more drinkin. I’m going straight into the workforce and I’m gonna do things right. I’m gonna treat you right. Cause I love you Jackie and I haven’t stopped thinkin about you for the past six years. And I can sell my house so we have some money and go travelin like you always wanted to. And we can go wherever you want. As long as we’re together. You mean the world to me.” At this point I was getting emotional. “I just, I just. We can do anything. I just. You. I.” A tear rolled down my cheek. “Oh, Jackie I just lo-”
“Stuart I don’t love you anymore!” Jackie burst out crying. Well my head fell into my hands and I felt like a child just there bawlin my eyes out.
“Wha-what do you mean Jackie.” She sniffled but managed to get out a response.
“I mean I’ve moved on.” She sobbed. “We just weren’t meant to be. I moved on and realized I didn’t need you anymore.” This was when I realized there was a ring on her finger.
“No!” I pouted. “You didn’t. You didn’t do it.”
“I’m sorry Stuart I-”
“Quit callin me that!”
“It’s your name ain’t it?! You gotta just forget about me. I-”
“What does he have that I don’t?!”
“A career for one thing! A clean record! And I love him and he loves me and we’re starting a family and I don’t want you to influence it!” By now I had cried enough to fill a swimmin pool.
“Jackie please don’t-”
“There’s nothin you can do about it.” She sharply inhaled, wiped both of her eyes, straightened her posture, and cleared her throat. “I’d like you to leave now.”
And so I left. I had no plan without Jackie; no life without Jackie. I ran home and found comfort with my old friend Mr. Jack Daniel. I think Jackie still had an ounce of fondness towards me because she came to check on me the following day. Good thing she had because I was out cold. When I woke up in the hospital I decided I was gonna make it like the last time I woke up in a hospital and start my life out fresh. I joined an AA group. So there’s that. They done convinced me to go to college. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I gotta say, I keep gettin more and more pessimistic. Especially every time I see Jackie, her husband, and their two kids in the grocery store. She’s happy so I’m supposed to be happy, right? I wish it worked like that.
After a week at a university I dropped out. Can’t teach a stupid dog new tricks. My love for Jackie has turned into regret. I regret thinking things would be the same when I got out. I wish I had thought it all through better. I wish she had been a perfect girl in a yellow dress. I’m beginning to think people like that don’t exist. At least not for me. I miss Jackie. But I miss the sweet bliss of my old friend even more. I know that if I go back to him all my friends at the AA will be ashamed. I know that my boss would fire me again. I know that I would lose my house. I know that my life would basically be over. But for me, my life ended a long time ago. When Jackie left. I think it’s time a treat my old friend to a visit.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[E R Dauris]

Hi, I wanted to say I like your story and the persona of the character comes across well in the writing, especially with the dropping of 'g'. in many words. It did take me a while to realise though that it wan't spelling mistakes or typos. Maybe you could consider putting in a few more phases in that a person who spoke like this might use. For instance, start with something like 'So its like this right' or 'I gots this little fantasy you know'. Love the opening though - it makes the story and I think it would ring familiar with people. Also, obviously this character isn't the brightest spark but if you word it right I think the scene could benefit from him noticing a few more of Jackie's subtle responses to him; fidgeting or maybe he noticed the ring because her other hand unconsciously passed over the slim gleaming band - details like that would add to the emotional depth. 'Can't teach a stupid dog new tricks' is a great way of developing a cliche like that a lot. The line 'My love for Jackie has turned into hatred' seems a little simplistic for me - I don't quite believe it.

I hope that's useful feedback. I've not fed back on anyone's writing before but I liked the story a lot and feel with a few lines edited it could be just that bit richer.