Off My Chest

I remember days when I lived any way the wind swayed  
Mom's use to say, Giovanni keep God first even if the heat paid 
Never was a cheapskate but use to rock the cheap skates 
Pine Island bike race, jeans straight, band tee 
With the key chain. 
I never see straight walking alone through faith 
I show up to the gate, though I may be late 
Usually late, wonder why my tray filled plates 
Only disappear once my eyes see hate 
Once my eyes seen hate as a child 
It took a while, to relate, my mix traits 
Half Rico half Colombiano, No espanol 
Third generation grengo, trying to go slow 
But society expects us to grow without a soul 
and school speak foul about the clouds   
When it's mouth yells every day out loud 
to do unto him proud. 
People think the dark has no sound 
It's grounds are endless, believe me it's 
emptiness fills up quick, hot air surrounds 
Shriveling lungs take in, making, your trip 
Easier to not cringe, He grins the closer I get 
The accomplish push force to my back syringe 
Numbing my course to heavens door, of course my words 
course through veins on course never cross lanes  
Bullets blaze through plains, like a good beat without waves 
People need to cease ways cause making him was my only chance 
To impress God, enough with the confess 
He knows a bluff from the rest, Stop the meddling test 
Maybe a fake nod, I hope my blood line can show face to the world 
While decompers beneath hide, and I might be over top, to his side 
Crying whenever my son lies, but I can't lie I use to rant the same, 
and sometimes in this game of life, it can force you to never take stance 
Personally fine, but no angel, a bullet in the safe if I can't handle 
This stress the world puts on me, an ordinary stranger contest 
Living a mediocre life the best, with useless spending 
and never saving, bank caving wallet shaving always fading 
into the faded, emotions constipated, the opposite keep on saying 
that she love me but deep inside she would rather be leaving 
I'm sorry things got to that point, dont know if it was me 
Or a lack of the head face coin, she made her point 
That's why I put every cell into my lines, in hope one day 
The stories I tell keep me out hell  
so maybe one day we can rejoin, foreshadowing can't you tell