DxR chapter 1

Deren x River chapter 1

A day had passed since that day. The day Damon had kissed me, and it was back to school as usual. I couldn't help but to think about him constantly, just, his face was inside of my head. The scene in which he had kissed me played over and over again, and I was confusing myself with every task possible. I had even done badly at sports, in which had actually cost me the appearance of my eye. Also the punishment of not paying attention in class, was to clean the desks in the classroom after school was over. That was the majority of my Monday at school, and it still hadn't ended yet.

Moving the desk to the side, I crouched down to look at a student notebook someone had left here. I sighed and pulled my hand over it, placing my hand on the cover before swiping it up and sitting in the chair near the window. It was brown with small flowers on the front, obviously some girls notebook. I was tempted to look through it, but I knew that wasn't nice. As I set it down and got up the door swung open startling me back. It was a small girl, almost like a middle schooler, with long golden locks and deep green eyes. The butterfly pin on the left side of her head was what mainly caught my attention, and the odd smile on her face too. I was a bit too startled to do anything as she came closer, placing her hand just past mine as I looked at her surprised. Though she tugged back and waved the notebook in front of her.

"You know it's not nice to try and steal a girls notebook mister." She giggled and spun around before sitting on top of one of the desks. Dragging her finger along it, "you did a good job of cleaning, are you planning on going home soon, it's a shame you aren't in any of the clubs." I sat down in the chair and raised an eyebrow.

"Why is it a shame, not like anyone here likes me anyway." This damn close knit town was getting on my nerves. Her eyes turned towards me and she smiled tilting her head.

"How can they not like you when they've never met you. I don't like you, nor dislike you. But I'd like to try and get to know you at least." She brought her hands forward to her legs and smiled at  me. It was kinda sweet, but I didn't exactly know what to make of it. Getting up I scratched  the top of my head and started towards the door, only to have her stand up and yell behind me. "My name is Lizard, I'm the match maker of the school, so if you are ever having trouble finding a girl you can come to me." I looked at her face as she gave a thumbs up. My heart bubbled, until I finally gave out a small and kind laugh. She was funny, but I guess, she had that natural effect on people. I stood up straight and pulled out my hand.

"I'm River. Eighteen years old. Your average student." She didn't take my hand. Instead she pushed it aside and pressed on my stomach. Tripping backwards I fell onto the ground with a thud knocking the air out of me, as she suddenly pinned me down. Though, it wasn't very effective it had surprised me enough to not move. Her hair came down as did her face. Getting closer and closer to mine. As I pressed my palms on her sides to try and get her off of me. As she came inches from my lips, she stopped.

"Your very vulnerable River. Someone could take advantage of you quite easily" Her fingers  ran down my hips, right above my pant line, though I gave no reaction to it. I wasn't wired to be excited by girls, besides that, when I looked at her she only reminded me more of Damon. That sexy b*****d. Why the hell was he doing this to me, to tease me? Lizard started hysterically giggling, as she got off of my and covered her mouth with her hands sitting on her knees as she laughed. I sat up myself and raised an eyebrow. After she was done laughing she looked up to me. "Sorry, don't worry I wasn't being serious at all, I just do that to freak people out, but you. You didn't seem to get flustered at all. Which usually means you’re in love with someone else. So, who is she." She put her hands on the floor. I blushed slightly as Damon came to mind, my face becoming hot with him on my mind.

"That's sort of.....odd for someone to ask when they've just met me." Lizard laughed again and stood up before offering me a hand, in which I took it gladly.

"If it makes you feel any better, I won't ever be in love with someone so easily. I'm asexual, never been interested  in relationships in the first place." She seemed so open about it, it surprised me. As I scratched the back of my head and looked at the clock. Maybe I could go to the college now to see him? What would that solve though, after kicking him out of my house the night he had kissed me. "Here." She shoved a small piece of paper at me as I grabbed it. "It's my  number, call me when you want to talk, I hope we can be friends." She grabbed her notebook and skipped out leaving me in the room all alone. It took me a few moment to process what had just happened and I yelled out loud ruffling my hair and falling back on the floor. What the hell was I doing?

After making sure everything was in order, I left the school, looking at my phone as I left the main entrance. I had his number in my phone, but I didn’t dare click on it, why, I did not know. When I got halfway across the courtyard, I felt something wet on my forehead. Looking up the sky was a dark gray color, and rain was beginning to fall. I remembered, that I hadn’t brought an umbrella with me today. I wasn’t aware it was supposed to rain.

Walking in the rain had made me cold, and if anything else alone. I held onto the side of my jacket and stopped to look at the small pink petals on the tree’s falling on the ground because of the heavy rain. I took shelter under one of the tree’s and received a text from my father, asking me if something was holding me up.

‘Just waiting for the rain to let up, then I’ll head home, I forgot an umbrella, don’t send kate I’ll be fine.’ I clicked the send button and rubbed the back of my head.

“River, what are you doing out here all alone?” I lifted my head, and Damon was standing there with an umbrella. My face turned hot as I covered my mouth and looked away.

“I had business at school before it started raining, got a problem with that Damon.”

“When are you going to stop calling me Damon?” He laughed and came under the tree with me, pulling down his umbrella. I felt hopelessly nervous, as he looked at me with that same smile he had since we were kids.

“You haven’t changed.” I stated, not knowing what else to say for the situation that called for it. Though it was true, in all my suffering I had becoming quite, shy, and a little bit uncaring. Definitely not strong enough to act on my own that was for sure. I was beginning to get cold, as I hugged myself, I had forgot my jacket  at home. Deren sure looked  cozy in his fluffy one, I was just wanting to snuggle in it with him, I bet that  would be warm to press up against him. NO! What the hell was I thinking, I shook my head once, twice, I couldn’t just let myself be torn away like that. I had school to worry about right now, specially, Deren was twenty five I was eighteen. The age difference made him a pedophile, didn’t it?

“Really, because you have. Then again, you were only eight when you left.” I looked over at him as he started to take off his jacket. I looked at him in surprise as he walked closer to me and wrapped it around my shoulders, closing in near my ear. “And my feelings are still standing strong to protect you.” My face blushed red and I looked away, Deren backed away a bit and tapped my shoulder. “I hope you’ll consider my feelings seriously River, you're an adult now. It’s time to take responsibility for all your actions.” I looked at him, slightly surprised. How long in my life had I actually waited for someone to care about me, I had no idea.

“W.....well” Deren grabbed under my chin and pressed his lips against mine. I struggled a moment, but then  stopped and melted into him, as he dropped his umbrella and continued the kiss. I wrapped my arms around him feeling his warmth over my body. His own hands pulled over my smaller body as I shivered slightly. I hated to admit I was slightly afraid of loving him, but I wanted to, and since he came over here and swept me off my feet I couldn’t help myself.

“I’ll ask properly this time” He whispered looking into my eyes. “Will you go out with me? Aishiteru”

“I-I can’t really object can I?” I laughed a little bit and pulled myself into him. I sneezed off to the side and sniffed, I think I was getting a cold.

Author's Note

The next chapter, took me a bit to write it too. Since I'm no longer doing Snowlit, and my tablet isn't of use, I'll be working on my other stories like this one.

Reviews

[Astro]

The actions are moving your story along nicely, but the structure of your sentences still needs work. A few examples:
"A day had passed since that day. The day Damon had kissed me, and it was back to school as usual. I couldn't help but to think about him constantly, just, his face was inside of my head. The scene in which he had kissed me played over and over again, and I was confusing myself with every task possible. I had even done badly at sports, in which had actually cost me the appearance of my eye. Also the punishment of not paying attention in class, was to clean the desks in the classroom after school was over. That was the majority of my Monday at school, and it still hadn't ended yet. "

In this paragraph you talk about the amount of time that has passed since a kiss, then of that scene playing out in your head. You go on to talk I think about your main character busying herself to try and not think about it. Then you make some reference to an injury and a punishment for not paying attention. You do this with incomplete sentences, and run-on sentences which is confusing and/or unclear. Here is an example of how I would write the same thing, just to give you a chance to see the difference and what to work on a bit.

"It's only been a day since Damon kissed me. One whole day of seeing his face leaning into me play out, over and over. I try hard to busy myself with my current chores to rid the thoughts from my mind. Earlier today I couldn't even focus in gym and ended up getting hit in the eye by accident for not paying attention. To top it all off, I was made to clean all the desks in the classroom as punishment for daydreaming. Thus far Monday, has been a train wreck. I'm not sure if it could get any worse."

I don't mean to suggest that you should use my example I just wanted you to compare the two and see the difference in each thought being expressed clearly and still furthering the moment. I hope this exercise helps a bit, I'm no novelist, so forgive me if you feel I was being harsh. There are a lot of spots in this chapter that are similar to what you have done in that paragraph, some a little worse, but by using my example maybe go back and look at each one and see, if you could make the message of each line clearer.

Keep up the good work, I know your next read request will be your best yet!!

[Rivaxorus]

Thank you you're not being harsh at all ^w^ I take everything very seriously so that I can improve.

[Astro]

You're welcome. :)