Envy

When I see them...

I study her face,
To find what she has I lack.
The smile you put there.
I miss how you taste,
I desperately want you back
I know, you don't care.
Aching in my chest.
Please just stop twisting the knife.
God, is this a test?
You still have my heart.
Can I please just have it back?
I'm dying without it.

Reviews

[S Olson]

"You still have my heart.
Can I please just have it back?
I'm dying without it."

The last line was what got me. It differentiates from the pentameter of the rest of the poem, and that's what gives it power; it makes you stop - it adds humanity to it in a strange way.

But not because of the words themselves, but because you can tell that those last 3 lines meant something to you as you wrote them. In a deeper sense, if that makes sense.

[Joan Davis]

Yes that does make sense, and they did. I'm glad to see that is portrayed.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, it's much appreciated

[S Olson]

Of course! Poetry is a part of the one that makes it; so I'm happy to share, and share it with you.

[Poet]

Aw, love hurts and the pain was well portrayed here.