Barrel Gabnor

Even if you don't read this, I couldn't bottle this up forever. That and I needed to practice writing.

What a year it's been
I've gotten to know you
It was definitely worth it, and I'd do it over and over
And look now
I'm pushing you farther and farther
I don't even regret the days I don't talk to you
It's like I don't care
As if I never wanted our friendship to go through.
I'll be honest I can't remember what meeting you was like
I didn't pay attention, because soon after we became friends, and I focused more on the moment rather than the beginning.
And looking back I wonder if that really was best.
I'll be honest you've gotten on my nerves quite a few times.
There's been moments where I wondered why I was friends with you
But in hindsight it's idiotic.
You've made me happy more than I can count, cheered me up when I never realized, and that's more than enough.
And yet, I've only had a mask of kindness, ignoring you, making rude comments (Ok definitely not a lot of regret there), and I act as if you're not there.
I won't apologize for it, after all i honestly doubt I can force myself to change.
Seeing you with your friends, I find it sweet and the face you have on is pure joy. So I don't jump in, just so I don't feel like I'm ruining it, they're your friends after all.
No this isn't confessing my love, but I will say that i do love you. I've never dreamt of replacing that certain someone, after all they never can be replaced. But I still want to see you happy, and everyone else too. This isn't goodbye, but just to acknowledge that I could have been a better friend.