Love at First Sight

Just a simplest way to express a love of first sight !

When, I don’t know

Where, at the first sight

In the corridor.

Where a girl ties her hair in a bit curly way

In a fade color suit

Which somewhere becomes my favourite then.

 

The smile, I still remember

The voice, it still sounds

Somewhere, near here

Somewhere near here.

Only one thing struck my mind

"I know her, yes! I know her".

 

Asking my friends

Who is she, my new classmate

The answer I got

The same moment my heart

dreaming the future

the gaiety future.

 

And I was wondering

In my dreams

With her.

And wholly forget

That dreams are only dreams.

 

How could this come true,

I don’t know. But

Celebrating with

Spurious hopes.

 

She has gone….

Now, the dreams are no more!

And not even dare…

 

To dream more!

To do more.

 

And LOVE MORE.

 

Author's Note

my first attempt for some poetic words in all together simplest way I can...
and all I need your positive criticism...
Thankyou for your time!!!

Reviews

[Namrata Nandagopal]

Wonderful attempt, Ayush!
The emotions that you've embedded in this poem have really touched my heart. It was simple, yet hid a certain mysterious feeling. If I could give some criticism, it would be that some of the stanzas could have been polished a bit more to elevate your poem. But otherwise, it was really nice.
Keep it up!😄👍👍

[Ayush Mishra]

Thanxalot Namrata :)
I will definitely work on your suggestion...

[Namrata Nandagopal]

Sure, happy to be of some help😄

[Wajiha Nayeem]

i loved this...but , the tragic ending left me mad...i was like no...this isn't happening...but, i loved your work ayush.

[Ayush Mishra]

Thankyou Nayeem :) n tragic ending was my own choice...

[TheUnrulyWriter]

Wonderful poem!! I have never had an experience like this in my life, but your poem is written in such a way that I understand the emotions beautifully!!! :)

[Ayush Mishra]

Thanx...for understanding my emotions...while reading this...

[Jessica Lima]

I am very technical. I was too distracted by your diction to let myself enjoy your work. Keep at it.

[Ayush Mishra]

oh..thanks for your time :)

[APOORVA]

a good read
and that feel love love at first sight, is just unmatchable

[Ayush Mishra]

yes..at some extent!!

[Surya]

Kuch baatein, kuch pal bahut kuch seekha deta hai,...i enjoyed your first write, i found no errors to point out...:)

[Ayush Mishra]

Thankyou Surya :)

[Surya]

You are welcome..:)

[Abhishek Asthana]

Bit romantic nd curious at d very beginning... like that part...

[Ayush Mishra]

All yours ...meri jaan :)

[Ana B.]

There is nothing like a man writing about love. Beautiful and bittersweet, lovely done. :)

[Ayush Mishra]

Thanx Ana.......

[Najam Us Saher]

It had a sudden tragic ending it left me in awe. I was enjoying the happy scenario of love in your first few stanzas and the ending was beyond my imagination. I like that a lot when something unexpected comes up. It was true to reality it was not a happy ending I like that because happy endings are rare and not close to realism. I loved the way you have beautifully written. Thank you for sharing :)

[Ayush Mishra]

U know what #Najam ....ur this review somewhere summarizes whole lines of the poem..n thanx for doing so!!

[Najam Us Saher]

Oh Thank you. I became a bit surprised when you said you know what I was like did I write something wrong ? ☺😊

[Najam Us Saher]

And you are welcome.

[Ayush Mishra]

hahaha...its my pleasure..that u spend few minutes for me :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Don't think like that. I really like reading and reviewing others work.

[Ayush Mishra]

Actually...the words written here...are my own emotions...so m saying :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Okay.... :)

[Sonakshi]

Ur words are impressive 👌

[Ayush Mishra]

hahaha..thanx for that!!!