B**b Club

A new mum struggles to keep up with her mortgage payments after her husband walks out on them. Can her friend's husband and manager at the bank provide any help?

It was Yvette's turn to host 'B**b Club' for the girls this week; so-called due to her husband's fondness for her own b***s and his seeming need to imagine her and her friends sat around discussing their breasts with each other, after being 'cut off' from them following the arrival of their daughter, Olivia. Obviously this wasn't enough as he'd left the house three months ago, supposedly to go to work, and never returned. The name was here to stay though.

Yvette laid out some sandwiches, a platter of Scotch eggs, prawn cocktail crisps and mini-muffins, and slumped down in the chair for a brief respite before the other Mums arrived.

Olivia was typically sleeping right when she should be up and getting ready to let off steam with the other kids. Yvette sighed. 'B**b Club' had gone from a monthly meet-up to a weekly gathering between her, Sally, Jodie, and Beth. They'd all given birth within an 18 month period, and used the time to talk like adults for at least an hour each week.

As usual, Jodie was the first to arrive and she struggled in the door as Charlie hung off her arm like a limpet. He was the eldest of the four children and the most problematic. Jodie was sure he was Asperger's already, but Yvette semi-comforted her by just remarking upon how 'gifted he is 'each time she watched him play with Olivia's building blocks. Jodie would just tilt her head and turn up the corners of her mouth, knowingly being patronised.

Yvette walked in to find her newest and possibly even best friend 'extracting' Charlie in the middle of the lounge and gathering toys by the cluster in an attempt to placate his screams. On cue, Olivia awoke and joined in for the chorus.

"God, sorry Yvette. Charlie! Now you've woken Olivia up!" Jodie struggled not to shout.

"It's fine, she needed to wake up soon anyway".

Yvette climbed the stairs wearily. She knew that in a little over an hour, the lounge would be a bombsite, Olivia would be near hysterical due to her friends disappearing, mixed with latent outrage at having had to share her toys with them for an extended period. By the time she carried Olivia back down with her, everyone else had arrived.

Beth wrestled to change Amy's nappy as the latter tried to get onto her feet and greet her friend. At two and 19 months respectively, Olivia and Amy were already inseparable BFF's. Sally had the youngest baby, Max, barely 6 months but the quietest of the lot as he sat in his pushchair and observed the madness.

"Nyum, nyum!" Olivia shrieked

Yvette tuts as she bends down to retrieve the tatty pink Minnie Mouse dummy from the floor. She holds it up to the group.

"OK, does anyone know how to get rid of these bloomin' things?"

Sally looked up at the offending article and smiled nonchalantly.

"Max won't be having one of those".

The other Mums erupted with laughter.

"Yeah, yeah" said Jodie. "I'll remember that in 6 months when he's keeping you up all night and you're tripping over the bags under your eyes!"

Beth offers some more salient advice.

" The Dummy Fairy. It's the way forward"

Yvette let Olivia down, now content with her N'yum, and headed to the kitchen.

"The Dummy Fairy? That's a new one on me. Who wants coffee?"

The usual yells of approval ring out. Beth continued, raising her voice above the noise of the kids, chatter, and boiling kettle.

"Seriously, Amy only gets her dummy at bedtime. The rest of the day I say the Dummy Fairy wants to look after it. She seems fine sharing it with him, just not me."

"'Him'?" Jodie asked, puzzled.

"Of course it's a 'him'. Who else would want a collection of pretend n*****s to carry around?"

Yvette caught the punchline as she walked back in and giggled.

"Too true!" she added as she dodged the assortment of children and toys fighting for floorspace, like some kind of Ninja.

She set the tray down out of the way on the high sideboard and invited everyone to help them-self. As she sat down on the arm of the sofa, she let out a long SIGH.

Jodie, Sally and Beth shot each other knowing, concerned, glances. The awkwardness plain to see on their faces, battling with their desire to help a friend. Finally, Jodie took the lead.

"Still no check then?"

Yvette flapped a dismissive hand at her.

"What do you think? He'll be too busy spending it on beer and b***s". She mouthed the last word, rather than say it out loud.

Surprisingly, at least to Beth, Sally piped up next.

"Why don't you go into the bank, have a word with Geoff? He might be able to sort out a short-term loan for you.."

"Couldn't hurt" added Beth. "Steve and I would love to help you out, but we're a bit tight ourselves this month".

Yvette grew embarrassed.

"Don't be daft. I'll sort something out. Maybe I'll book an appointment to see Geoff."

Sally nodded. Jodie offered a sympathy smile. Beth checked her watch.

"Sugar, I just remembered I'm supposed to be picking up number two from pre-school today. Steve is on earlies this week".

Beth stands and grabs Amy off the floor, sending her and Olivia into the pits of despair.

"Sorry. I'll catch up with you all later. Thanks Yvette. Make sure you call Geoff!"

Thirty minutes later and only Jodie and Yvette remained. Charlie was attempting to be-head Olivia's dolls, and she was predictably screaming the place down.

Jodie stood and broke up the fight. She rolled her eyes at Yvette.

"On that note, I'll leave you in peace"

Yvette stood, quickly.

"Don't be silly, stay?"

Jodie looked at Yvette. Her eyes begged her. In the end she had to look away so as not to crumble.

"Sorry sweetie, I have to get the shopping done while Charlie naps else I am in hell". As the words escaped her lips she baulked. Yvette had a much better understanding of 'hell' at the moment.

Luckily, Yvette took the refusal graciously, as always.

"No problem hun, I'll speak to you later?"

"Sure". Jodie bundled Charlie under her arm and the pair left as entangled as they entered. As Yvette waved them off she stooped to pick up a letter from the well-worn doormat. The edges were as frayed as Yvette's nerves as she opened it with trepidation.

*Dear Mrs Grayling,

We have been notified of a change in your circumstances by the CSA.

Due to the maintenance agreement reached with Mr Kevin Grayling, you will no longer be entitled to full benefits.

As of 15/10/2013 your benefit payment will be as shown below.

Child Tax Credit:
Housing Benefit:
Working Tax Credit:

If you have any....*

Yvette's eyes looked away and her shoulders slumped and she rung her fingers through her lank hair.
She did the final calculation in her head but already knew the result. She could no longer afford the house.

The CSA was a joke, Kevin was self-employed;he could agree all he wanted but without an employer to dock his wages it was still down to him to transfer the money. Which he wouldn't.

Yvette looked down at Olivia. Her big blue eyes watched her intently. They were so in tune emotionally it eas frightening and Olivia knew something was up. She didn't seem to miss Daddy at all, but she sure as hell knew that Mummy did.

After picking Olivia up for a quick 'motivational hug', Yvette dialed the bank and asked for Geoff.

"Hey Yvette, Sally said you might be calling."

I'll bet she did, thought Yvette. She liked Sally, but she would have taken a modicum of delight in touting her husband as the hero of the hour. Same as he'd be sitting in his office right now reveling in the power.

"Hi Geoff". She took a deep breath before continuing.

"Yeah, as she probably mentioned I am struggling a bit with the mortgage at the moment, and was wondering about a loan?"

She could hear Geoff suck in air, like a mechanic who'd just been asked to give you an estimate.

"I don't know Yvette." He paused for an eternity.

"I'm not sure I can really recommend that, you don't really have the means to pay it back, y'know without..."

He stopped.

"Kevin?" Yvette finished for him. She could sense him squirming in his chair. Kevin and Geoff had been friends. Golf partners in countless tournaments even. Although he'd expressed disgust at his good buddies actions, she knew it wasn't enough to get in the way of a scratch handicap.

"Yes, sorry Yvette. Look, come in sometime? I'll see what I can do..."

"Sure. Thanks Geoff."

Yvette tried not to sound too sarcastic and hung up.

Tears filled her eyes and she dispatched them before Olivia could see them fall.

"Let's get you some lunch darling, shall we?"

                       ***
Yvette walked into the bank and adjusted Olivia in her carrier. She was amazed at how heavy she'd got since she last put her in that thing, and she kicked into her kidneys and sapped her strength every time she took a step.

The queue was relatively short, even for a weekday after lunch and she scanned around to see if Geoff was visible, then laughed at herself. Gone three PM, he was no doubt already on the golf course with Kevin.

The thought was interrupted by the sound of Olivia's N'yum clattering on the floor and her instant wail of terror. Everyone glanced around to look at her, as if she had committed a heinous crime by allowing her child to cry. Even for a second.

Suddenly a sharp voice rang out in her ears.

"Everyone on the floor. Now!"

She panicked and looked around. Everyone else was already frozen to the spot. Their faces filled with instant terror as their legs collapsed instantaneously underneath them.

"Just do what I tell you to, and no-one will get...no-one will get hurt!"

Yvette watched as the tellers followed every instruction, stuffing banknotes into a bag as the hooded raider barked orders in response to their plea for mercy.

Olivia was sobbing against her back now. The cries were real and heartfelt, not for show. Yvette hated not being able to pacify her baby, or even take her from the carrier and give her a hug during the madness.

Finally, Yvette was free to go. She rushed from the bank, the loan the last thing on her mind. She just had to get Olivia safe as the sound of sirens grew along with their distance from the bank.

This time she let her tears flow and sobbed with her daughter, in unison, all the way home.

As they walked in the door, Jodie was already on the phone.

"Hey Yvette. How you getting on?"

Yvette slide off her dark coat and used her teeth to remove her gloves as she fumbled the phone to her other ear.

"Hey, yeah I'm fine thanks hun. You?" Yvette didn't have the energy to get into the earlier proceedings but she soon had no choice.

"I've just had Sally on the phone. She's lapping it. Her husband the f*****g *hero*..."

"What do you mean?" asked Yvette. "Why is Geoff a hero?"

"I think it's safe to say you won't be getting a loan out of his bank anytime soon. The b*****d thing just got robbed!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, they got over half a million apparently. And it wasn't a loan!" Jodie laughed, Yvette struggled to join in.

Yvette could hear a commotion in the background, a knock on Jodie's door followed by Sally's crocodile tears.

Jodie came back on the phone in a state of near orgasm.

"Sally just got here. Come over and get the goss."

Jodie whispered.  "You can help me wind her up!"

Yvette looked at the ceiling and rolled her eyes.

"OK, I'll just change the little lady and be right over."

Jodie hung up without a sign-off. Where there was hot gossip to be had, all else be damned.

She ducked into the kitchen to fetch Olivia's spare N'yum; her little angel had the post-sob stuttered sighs, and she couldn't stand to hear them any longer.
                    ***
Jodie met her on the doorstep before she had even knocked. Yvette wiped her feet and carried Olivia in her arms as she slept. Jodie almost exploded with anticipation as she lowered her voice.

"Sally is in f*****g bits in there, but I know she is secretly loving every minute."

Yvette frowned at Jodie.

"What?!?!? She's sleeping!"

Jodie led Yvette directly into the lounge where Sally sat fixated on the local news. She clutched a glass of red wine as if it were a life-belt.

Yvette joined her gently on the sofa.

"The f*****g nerve!"

Hearing Sally actually swear was a shock to her and Jodie both, and they both raised their eyebrows as they shared the 'moment'.

Yvette moved to speak but Sally hushed her with a well-placed finger over the mouth as action switched from the newsreader to a Police spokesman standing in front of the cordoned off bank. Geoff was visible in the background.

"Ooh look there's Geoff!" Sally shouted, causing Olivia to stir.

The spokesman addressed the assorted press.

"We can confirm that a robbery did take place at the Lloyd's TSB high street branch about three PM today.

We are still gathering information from witnesses. As you can imagine they are still highly distressed. I must stress that this was an armed robbery, and the perpetrator is still at large..."

The spokesman is interrupted by an officer holding a clear plastic bag. He whispers in his ear before the spokesman resumes his address.

"It is believed the perpetrator dropped this during the robbery...."

The cameraman has zoomed in to show the contents of the bag.

"N'yum, N'yum!" Olivia screamed.

Author's Note

Please check flow and tense (having worked on screenplays recently, I'm a sod for mixing them!). Grammar suggestions welcome, but would love all comments on the story.