Everyone In Cinderella Was Not A Nice Person

Our story starts on an uneventful afternoon in the mall. Cinderella was shopping with her stepmother, MaryJoLisa, and her stepsisters, Stacy and Josanndra. Stacy and Jossandra were both being severely racist and kept assuming that all of the Somalian people in the mall were pregnant with frogs. They would tease and point their fat fingers at the poor Somalian girls. Their mother scoffed and took the girls to the food court to buy new dresses.

 

Stacy got French fries that she was going to make into a beautiful sash, Jossandra couldn’t find anything she wanted and complained. Cinderella found the most delicious orange chicken at Asian Stir-fry, but it was too expensive for her stingy stepmother.

 

“But I want my orange chicken!” yelled Cinderella in tears.

 

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t afford to pay three dollars for some gross orange chicken,” consoled MaryJoLisa.
       

“My Daddy would buy me orange chicken!” screeched the spoiled brat, as she broke out of the malls double the doors. She keyed her step mom’s hummer in the parking lot, and ran to her stepmother’s mansion that was down the street.

 

In her shallow rage, Cinderella doused the house and propane and lit it on fire. It wasn’t long before MaryJoLisa, Stacy and Jossandra pulled into the driveway. None of the three women seemed angry at what Cinderella had done. Stacy and Jossandra were excited to think that they would move into Cinderella’s bigger mansion.  MaryJoLisa noticed that her husband’s car was also in the driveway and was excited about the prospect of getting more money from her second and (now) late husband.

 

Cinderella’s father ran a sweatshop in the Philippines and was especially rich and cruel, so his death was not very sad.

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Cinderella was a whiny, delusional, passive aggressive, lazy jerk; the Fairy Godmother was a sadistic witch; her stepmother and stepsisters had it coming; and The Prince was a sleazy dwarf. As Cinderella’s “pet” mice, we collectively experienced, first-hand, the lashes of each of these self-destructive humans. This is the true story of Cinderella.
       

We mice were living, quietly, in a hole, in a wall, in Cinderella’s room. Cinderella was not really sad that her dad had died, but she was so angry that her stepmother had grounded her and put her in a straightjacket. She would sit on the ground in her room, staring off into the wallpaper, mumbling to herself; “Night and day they call me Cinderelly! Do this! Clean that! It’s not fair. All I ever wanted was orange chicken. A dream is a wish your heart makes. My heart wishes for orange chicken.” And then, she noticed our mice hole. In her excitement, Cinderella ripped off the straightjacket and scrambled over to our home. She forced us out and boarded up the hole so that we wouldn’t have any escape. That was when she enslaved us; she told us that if we disobeyed or tried to leave that she would tell her stepmother that we were in the house, and MaryJoLisa would surely kill us.
       

One day, while Jossandra was washing dishes, she chipped some nail polish off of her pinky. Devastated, she refused to lift another finger to clean. Stacy was already doing most of the other work, so Cinderella was assigned to do Jossandra’s chores. Cinderella had never worked a day in her life. So when she did, she sat around complaining, doing a poor job and yelling at the rags and brooms that she had to work with.
       

After a week, she finally thought to make us do her chores for her. The work was really hard and pretty dangerous, especially with tools meant for animals 30 times our size. We must have lost at least seven family members when she made us clean those knives. It was that very day when Jossandra and Stacy ran in the house yelling, obnoxiously, about the dance that The Prince was throwing that evening. Cinderella wanted to go, of course. She begged MaryJoLisa to let her go; because Cinderella was not officially invited, MaryJoLisa agreed to allow Cinderella to go if she finished her chores and was able to find something to wear that wasn’t too inappropriate. Cinderella shut herself in her room where she cried and tried to find an outfit, while we mice had no time to morn the recent deaths and cleaned. We swept, vacuumed, raked and moped. And in 10 hours, just as Jossandra and Stacy were leaving for the ball, the chores were finally complete. Cinderella came out of her room dressed in a bikini top and a 4-inch skirt, all covered with rhinestones. The only thing that made the outfit presentable was Stacy’s sash made from French fries.
       

“Um… I’m sorry Cinderella, but I really don’t want my sash to get dirty tonight, and since it is mine; can you not wear it tonight?”
       

Cinderella and Stacy found themselves in a nasty fistfight. Eventually Cinderella surrendered the sash. Without it, MaryJoLisa did not find Cinderella presentable enough to attend the ball. It was getting late and MaryJoLisa waited five minutes for Cinderella to change her outfit: because Cinderella was throwing a fit it took her thirty minutes too long. Cinderella decided that she didn’t even want to go with her stepfamily because they were leaving at midnight, which, according to Cinderella, was bogus.
       

As Cinderella moped about in her room, a bizarre creature appeared. It was that beast that you call “Fairy Godmother”. The fairy showed sympathy for Cinderella and made her a beautiful dress out of our fur. Embarrassed and chilly, we stood naked while Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother who laughed at our hairless bodies. The Fairy Godmother then painfully stretched and mutated our bodies so that we looked like humans. She then gave Cinderella whip and a carriage and made us carry Cinderella to the ball. Before she left, Cinderella ran into MaryJoLisa's room and took her crystal slippers. Cinderella had to be home by midnight so that MaryJoLisa wouldn’t know that she left.
       

At the ball, The Prince was making out with eighteen young women, at once. He was short and had a pig nose; he was very hairy and grossly unattractive. It was clear from his scent that he had no concept of soap or toilet paper. But, as a man with endless money and power, he had many women. Cinderella was jealous of the eighteen other girls, so she danced a... provocative dance while the sleazy prince sat and watched. He recognized Cinderella as the hottest woman at the party and decided he would have her as his thirteenth wife. After telling the twelfth that it was over, he approached Cinderella, who was noticing that there were only thirty minutes until midnight. She accepted the proposal and followed The Prince into his bedroom. After five minutes, she came running out, barefoot, and jumped into the carriage. We brought her home and were restored to our normal shapes. Though, we never got our hair back.
       

That next day, MaryJoLisa was bloodthirsty to find the person who had stolen her slippers and The Prince was flesh thirsty to find the same person. He walked around the town to various sorority houses and mansions to find the person who fit into the slippers. MaryJoLisa, while she was going to her psychologist, bumped into The Prince.

 

"It's you! You're the nasty little poop who stole my expensive shoes!" she snarled, pulling out her switchblade. The Prince handed over MaryJoLisa's shoes and followed her back to Cinderella's mansion. He asked MaryJoLisa if she had let anyone borrow her shoes for the ball. Wanting her daughters to marry someone rich, MaryJoLisa directed The Prince to Jossandra. Jossandra was, clearly, not the same person that he met last night; so MaryJoLisa directed The Prince to Stacy. Stacy was, clearly, not Cinderella; so The Prince left, sobbing.
We mice were devastated, having Cinderella married and out of the house was our path to freedom. As The Prince was leaving and as Cinderella was stepping out of the shower, we started biting her feet. She ran around the mansion, screaming, “Stop!” and  “Let me go!” Hearing the commotion from outside, The Prince re-entered the house to find Cinderella. He picked her up and carried her, over his shoulder,  back to his castle. We were free, or so we thought.

 

Thinking that MaryJoLisa, Jossandra and Stacy were imprisoning Cinderella, he stole away all their money and social status. They now live out of their hummer that they cannot afford to drive. Cinderella told him about us and all the work we did for her, so we, and thousands of other mice, were brought into the castle to work as the maids, cooks, etc. Financially, this was genius because they wouldn’t have to pay us any salary or insurance at all. The Prince and Cinderella started a fight club and are not enjoying each other at all. They abuse each other almost every day, so we have to clean up blood, and other bodily fluids.

 

If you have any human sympathy at all, you must help us. We are forming a resistance army but we need your support, funds and grenades. Find us at www.freethemice.org. Thank you.

Reviews

[Emme]

This was very well done. I never really thought of the story that way, so I enjoyed seeing it differently. The change in persons (3rd to 1st) was very well done.