Journal entry

This is a real journal entry of mine and I am sharing it with you.

I hate my brother. I don’t think I love him anymore after all the hurt he’s put me and my family through. I resent him and his actions. I want to love him but I can’t. It’s
just impossible. At one point I thought my family couldn’t be pieced back together. I of course picked up the pieces and glued them back together as best as possible, but there are still scars just like there would be if you got stitches. I wish I had a brother who cared for me not manipulated me and everyone around him. I will never believe anyone. Or trust them. I now have put up walls and barriers in my mind to keep from getting hurt. Courtesy of my brother. I wish I had a brother who I could talk to. A brother to protect me and be annoying in that annoying brother type of way. Out of all this he’s taught me about this world and all the sin in it. He taught me how the devil works and how not to let the devil in. So at least he helped me in someway right? I don’t have many friends because I don’t go looking. I don’t know how to look for a good friend because of him. Luckily all my friends found me. Teresa I suck at finding friends is because I don’t know how to trust people or how to not look for the bad in them and not see all the good they have inside. Basically what I’m saying is I’m damaged. Broken. I just wish I had a somewhat normal life. I kinda don’t though because my brother has helped shape the person I today. He had strengthened me.

Author's Note

This was just my bottled up feelings typed up. Please read them with an open mind, put yourself in my situation, and don’t be to harsh. Be honest though.