The Story Of Jade

The Story Of Jade

It is more than any gums that you can chew

To place with one carnivorous spit.

He put it back; An abrupt spewed

And see if Cinderella's shoe could fit.

Lack of grace, Lack of dignity

Unpolished crown, Unfinished dress

If all they see is adultery,

Then it is more than a big mess.

Only you that can see her soul to her eyes.

Needing you, Needing love.

If only you haven't said "I do" in front of Christ

Then what is "eternally bounded" for an eternal love?   

She knew, She thought, And she burst in tears.

For loving you She was number two.

Despite her grief, And her biggest fear,

If only she didn't, She didn't ever knew.

She grabbed the knife and endeavored to fight

Even though she knew what is wrong and what is right.

She became a set of words in one of a folk man's tale

On the end...

She wore a bridal veil.

Zachary Cyrick Addams Nash 

Author's Note

The second to the last stanza had a few error (grammatically).

Reviews

[HidingBehindTaylor]

Well I liked it. I liked the larger words. Put emphases on each sentence. But some people will like that, some won't. Can't please everybody.

As far as the poem itself, what I got from it was a cheater. That's what I was reading. This girl was perfectly loved and some other came along and the wife discovered it. Kind of a Cinderella tale gone wrong. Or maybe this girl was miserable anyways. Either way I think this ended with death.

And I don't know if it was how I was reading it or I read it too fast. Now I don't know every grammar rule in the book. "She knew, She thought, And she burst in tears." Maybe "She knew, She thought, And she burst into tears." ? Unless that's what you met.

Otherwise I actually enjoyed reading this.

[Trigorin]

I don't like the varying sizes - makes it difficult to read and makes this look somewhat unfinished and unfocused. Your content is good, but I think you could use more vivid imagery here and there, and the whole size issue really is quite distracting.

[Zachary Cyrick Addams Nash]

Thanks for your honest review. About the varied sizes of the words: I just thought it would be more like of a design and style.