i hope you hope

"edifying thoughts of a tobacco smoker"

People are only broken mirrors of each other. Its a terrible thing to exist as the hand gathering jagged glass. There are shards, shards in hearts.

Were like people in portraits painting portraits of people. Men with infinite minds and keyhole eyes perceiving time. Time is a serpent swallowing itself or a ring spinning. The deeper I look the slower it goes, so how deep must I look to find stillness?

I sit beneath a willow tree that weeps and hardens with each hard winter.

At the forefront of this its purely obscurity. Were like children with new eyes taking blind steps in the dark. We stumble around this energy, this abundant chemistry, closed and lonely but holy. Ghosts seeking wholeness captured in moments.

Each day were doused in Truth like gasoline lit by the Sun; existing in impermanence. To be is to burn.

But whither goes the extinguished flame? It seems to go up, and out.

All that's left are heaps of ash and a fading warmth left behind.

Is suffering a requirement for growth? Sadness and love must have deep roots in this universe. Without pain there wouldn't be joy �" so those who suffer are saints, bearing a brutal burden just as Christ carried our cross.

My father died in my arms I held him with wet eyes singing tunelessly. “every little thing... is gonna be alright.”

Burning discontentment drives me deeper

down the rabbit hole discovered in my darkest hour

digging feverishly

scarring and scouring my conscious

for depth or diamonds

I know not

how deep does this world go?

But I've only discovered all that I do not know

fueling the fire that is my discontent

burning full as ever

like the sun that inevitably sets

vanquishing all that I've garnered

in this short respite

all the while the truly truth remains ever present

just out of the reach of my grasping mind

My one and only hope is that I help.

Surely this is a hard life despite all the beauty

enough to make any man crumble under the justifiable pretense of -

Why?

Time as a circle

Space as emptiness

For every sun there is a black hole

Dionysian Apollonion

Yin Yang

Balance

This universe being

infinity inward

infinity outward

perpetuating here now

what a miracle it is

taking all of it into account

what an astounding miracle it is

to live to laugh to weep

to fall in love and stare deeply into ocean eyes

Once I wept under a full moon

for the impermanence of all things

how fleeting

if only I could forget

id be oblivion already

but the moon reminds me of my discontent

burning full as ever

The philosopher must be the proudest of creatures

encroaching upon God

despite quivering �" might he strike me down here and now?

As I contemplate far off and away from self

about self

-

Your armored heart hardens with each hard winter

huddled beneath a willow, weeping

the last green leaf of an autumn tree

shivers before falling free

how could I keep you?

The world wouldn't get to meet you

It would be like denying them the sunshine

Be free

please

laugh easily

but don't think of me

only hold us in your heart

like some broken piece of art

A piece too perfect to exist because framing the nameless tames it and to cage an angel maims it

Be free

please

laugh easily

but don't think of me

-

If only we could bring all the lonely hearts together

The moon is her heart

her eyes are the ocean

grace lives in her hips

blue blue compassion

I fell asleep

wading in her ocean eyes

and then I broke it like a mirror

shattered

shards, shards in hearts

everything is dark

down down a steep slippery slope

how deep how deep does this world go?

And then I watched you wilt like the willow we planted In the backyard

that hardens with each hard winter

underneath which I sit

now

shivering in harmonious discord

jolting reality

its real its always been real

in this strange sad dream

-gratitude

crazy escape

Santa Cruz

avenues sweetly perfumed by eucalypti

sheltering innumerable homeless souls

weary from the sun

it gets to the point where your too tired for fear

your left with something raw

human friction

neurosis attachment addiction

I saw an old bum haggered from the sun

I felt respect

some kind of crazy wisdom keeps him alive

there's a grit inside of him that makes his heart still tick despite the plight

hes existing in

sleeping in stain vomiting sewers reeking gutters acid rain

what saintly soul is his having been drugged and beaten starved without eating losing teeth

still remaining

his mind has dimmed to this cruel concrete world

he seems to suffer not

oh great one slung through the mud

I bestow all the metal in my pockets for a glimpse at your crazy wisdom

teaching compassion through action

dying

each

moment

oh bum

haggered from the sun

Outsider

You're the last link between ultimate yes and ultimate no

your one step ahead of a foxtrot

you've discovered discord

congratulations! You must be dead to truly dig this dance

realize you're a profit and every crazy thought you've had is romantic

find a cool neurosis and make it repose

how can I be more clear?

You are a descendant of the great Pan Shou

who whistles while he works

-

Into the cafe I went

and the world trembled

that's when I realized

were in this together

-

Meditation is Movement

for me

like Njinsky

dancing to be free

-

are we humans or are we dancers?

-

I feel this world too much

or rather It feels me

acutely

and there is so much of It

When I see a woman walk by

on the beach

I see the world in her

Her eyes are the ocean

I feel too much of this world

or rather it feels me

acutely

and there is so much of It

It saddens me

because I cannot see

people as I once did

Singular

as they would prefer

instead I see everything

in her

ocean eyes

and all the worlds love

beating in her heart

Grace lives in her hips

-

marry me

I wont lay down my life for you

ill lift it up

and together well be,

for all eternity

-

Some say death is the easy way

it could be

I've only ever been an empty pole for the cosmos

trembling, trembling

oh why couldn't I have been a soldier

with a noble death

instead ill quiver

and go out with a whimper...

-

Poetry in your mind makes you a wise fool

the infinite world in your impermanent head

Poetry in your mind

is a waste of a man

all he can do is contemplate and shiver

knowing the end game

is he mad or composing?

language is division

and division is an imposition

don't break it down

this world is a river

flowing continuous

forever

your pain is naught

universal time is naught

pleasantly occupying a space

a simple smile on your face

will save the human race

-

The Outsider can predict the future

only from discord can you see the universe as it is

harmonious

your chaos is a bridge to new things

this is why your most handsome when you hunt

or why

its so nice to watch someone

unconscious of you

completely unconscious

(Hitchcock knew this)

like an athlete with a blank mind

in that moment they are Godly and Fantastic

Mystical Even

some of us forget how to forget

-

Out pours the wine from a bowl into a frail glass that stands there as still as a mirror

Shattered into shards when gripped too hard.

Spilling out deep red

congealing into black

before sinking into You

Dark Blue

-

lush whimsy

The nameless speaks all language

kinetic and otherwise

turn your inner ear

waves are words to the world

esoteric tumult coordinates exoteric confusion

-

Have you ever sat

and watched the chi

move about a room

?

-

The king of gold has black eyes and smiles with teeth sharpened for loneliness

where he resides

hoarding his fortune

before the storm hits

The king of gold wades in an ocean of power

at home in the depths of the darkest hour

The king of gold has black eyes and smiles with teeth sharpened for loneliness

where he resides

hoarding his fortune

The king of gold wades in an ocean of power

at home in the deepest depths

of the darkest hour

-

I cannot wait for death, idle

Let him approach me on the mountain

where ill be dead already

an animated corpse, dancing!

What is death but finding earths proper tune?

As human beings we are the melody to her rhythm

we are the stress we are the yang, depleting

lean into her

bailar con la luna

repose amidst pressure yields a diamond.

-

I'm not tired, I'm desire less.

-

After being sick for so long I've come to miss the pain.

It was excellent company for awhile. Now I'm more than alone I'm empty

-

Mankind's Secret Unkempt

In a great unveiling I learned me

what a wash

once you know yourself you know all things

a point where intellect intersects wisdom

or

man intersects God

A gift wrapped so intently once you know its contents

you'll begin adoring the discarded packaging

-

In a made up mind coincidence become synchronization. This is useful to the self who's soul continually spirals skyward. (Righteous nous)

You'll become a bridge for the bizarre

You'll take blind steps in the dark

You'll become intimately engaged in a game reserved only for the rationally insane.

When you learn the truly truth from the most highest

You'll die for it

After Devouring the Dark Star you'll reach the heart of hearts

and this is where to start

If each man became an island unto himself and simultaneously a deep pool of understanding what becomes We? After Peace what is Progress?

As a people Peace will be easy when we realize to harm another is in fact to harm oneself �" threefold!(Wicca) being that every human is a 3 brained organism �" body mind soul

Every action has an equal opposite reaction. The meek shall inherit the Earth. All energy is borrowed and nothing is lost or wasted in this world. Be useful to the Universe. Light begets Light.

So

Sadly it takes this selfishness to reach collective selflessness

or

enlightening an entire species

If only the human entity would conduct itself in a simple earthly harmony our ordered influence could increase exponentially like raising octaves quantumly making our melody an infinite symphony also treating other orchestras neatly finding form that fits finally the wholeness frequency.

But remember

Love wont be tugged

you'll only find yourself sliding from a center

where you were Once

Together

-

what if were in heaven already?

But we haven't realized it because of our worldly drama

because we cling to our plight

in fear of oblivion

an illusion

developed by the human mind system

a survival based energy system

perpetuating the master-student ordering of our world

I believe were in heaven already

and in each of our hearts there exists a deep understanding

as deep as the farthest reaches of the universe

a deep pool of tranquility

in understanding

every heart beat will resound

love

reaching the farthest corners of space

were in heaven already and every move you make is perfect and free

-

Love is light

Love is a quantum leap

felt through all perceptual boundaries

with deep kinetic roots

extending throughout the very depths of the multiverse

that exists deep within the silent core

of your fiery heart

above all else simplify your silly mind

dots are spots faraway

spots are dots up close

sharpening your light wave to high frequency

you'll reach any star

in fact you already are

the universe sings the saddest song

sweet indifference

Gods gift to you

The deepest gulp from the infinite bowl could never be enough

your greatest gift to this world is stillness-

a tranquil conduit for love to run through

Repose amidst pressure yields a diamond

diamonds have the tendency to dig themselves to the earth

there's so much beauty in dirt

this is how you exist now

at the bottom of my heart

like some divine density

sinking

this is how you exist now

a rock in a river

tumbling along

seeking new bottoms

Sean Erik Carroll

10/5/2013

Author's Note

still working on a more comprehensive approach to my ideas. Im looking for a publisher. All feedback is humbly accepted thank you