Fun Sean FactsA Poem by SeanWegmannI'll drop these on you from time to time. You're welcome. Ladies get your towels, things are about to get arousing. You have no right to expect an order.
Fun Sean Facts:
Fun Sean Fact #12,000,000: If I have to come back, it best be as something with shoulder-mounted turrets. Reincarnation owes me. Fun Sean Fact #34: As an intelligent American, I believe everything that the Internet tells me. Always. No matter what. Tom and Katie made their love-child out of Scientology magic and Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army, Kim Jong-il, is the greatest basketball player of all time. Even better than Jesus. Fun Sean Fact #52: My grandfather was one-half leprechaun. That's why I have such deep shoe repair skills. Fun Sean Fact #615: My Hardee's®-financed, psychic Internet powers tell me that you will suffer a grave loss mere minutes after reading this sentence. Fun Sean Fact #579: The Cheerios mascot is named "Buzz". I just found that out. I guess I had always assumed that the corporate think-tank at General Mills would be a little bit more inventive than to name a cartoon bee mascot after the traditional onomatopoeic bee word. Fun Sean Fact #21,212: I don't read spam e-mails unless the subject line includes the words "prosthesis" or "Latino" - in those cases, things get real raunchy, real fast Fun Sean Fact #211: I like to minimize wind resistance while jogging by lathering up with cheap margarine. Unfortunately, all the damn birds pecking at my face and arms make it difficult to keep my footing. Fun Sean Fact #7: I frequently wonder about when Robert Goulet will inevitably turn on the good people at Diamond Foods, Inc. for their Emerald Nuts advertisements. Surely, Goulet and the animal handlers who keep him from falling into a drunken, berserker rage were fully briefed on the nature of the commercials, but you can only tame a primal force of nature like Robert Goulet for so long. Eventually, he will kill everyone and suck the marrow from their bones. Fun Sean Fact #10: These facts used to be much funnier. Ever since the Slavs moved in and bought everything out, this site's been going to hell in a handbasket. And, I swear, it's got a smell now. Fun Sean Fact #317: I hide the soiled sheets bearing the mark of my secret shame under the living room coffee table. It's a terrible spot, I know, but I already use the attic, crawl space, and basement closets for my other secret shames. © 2012 SeanWegmannAuthor's Note
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1 Review Added on September 5, 2012 Last Updated on September 5, 2012 Tags: Fun, Sean, Facts, awesome, badass, humor, comedy, nonsense, ridiculous, raunchy, real, uncut, erotic, legs, ass, breast, Taylor Swift, Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Martian Man Hunter, Superman, Batman AuthorSeanWegmannHouston, TXAboutHuman-ish. Nearly English-fluent. A*s-clown. Possibly a Middle Eastern terrorist. Probably not a child molester. All phrases commonly assigned to prolific author Sean Wegmann. But yo.. more..Writing
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