how we changed

we are the audience,
in the bitter sun.
and i cannot want you like this,
when your every word
is laced with the tone
of her.
every, you know
this is how she changed me.
this is what made me.
where is the girl
i used to love?
gone with the days
when we were vulnerable enough
to trust.
to value our feelings higher than this.
we are not this summer,
and we are not the future.
we will never be us.
and i will never be able to reach
into my heart again
and love.