20/05/10

this is crap

the door clicks behind me,
and i'm here
stirring the spoon in my tea.
the milk smell-
nauseating.
today i spilled
vanilla cream through the fridge
and it soaked my knees
as i scrubbed and scrubbed
and ali winked at me,
stroked my hair.
another flirtation
going nowhere
nowhere...
there was a boy
so scared of silence
thinking i'd take a chance
with the television off
to challenge the meaningless beauty
of our shallow want
and i'd never seen him interact
with anybody else but me
he lived in a house alone
where were the other three?
but i am just as good as using
and i'd never love him
because he wouldn't hold me
or try to know me.
this year
i quit art school.
instead
drew flowers in espresso
with the most delicate milk.
and doodled
in perfume crayons
on my wrist.
forever in places
where hypocrisy lives.

Reviews

[cest la vie]

you have a rare gift with being able to take life, weave it in a most pleasant read..
"and doodled in perfume crayons
on my wrist.
lines like this set you apart...
i have always admired your poems..

[hanzabonanza]

this is not crap! really beguiling- entraps and draws the reader in, you want to know more

[hawker]

oh and it's not 'crap' either.

[BluesForTheRisingSun]

I don't think this was crap. I think it was a reflective poem, written with excellent vocabulary. The only comment I have, is possibly to change the format into paragraphs, keep the shape the same- but just put a gap between lines. This would make it easier to absorb the three different topics you incorporated into this poem. Just a thought.
Great write :)

[hawker]

this is not 's**t'.. silly. this is brilliant. and i am as jealous as ever.