14/03/10

i don't like this.

school finished, we realised we had to grow up, though we really didnt want to, and everyones moving on and its s**t, plus the added fact, well i did anyway, i listened to other people and did what they told me to do, rather than what i wanted to do

i've had my heart broken
every year
since i was fifteen.
but this year
we got punctured
by the failure
of our school-aged dreams.
i want to shriek
'til my throat is raw
oh, god i'm so unhappy.
i'm so unhappy.
we're so unhappy.
tell me now,
what this is worth
what all this unhappiness is for?
i don't want to mince around words
just let me know
why it is
the year i chose to live
i found
there's no talent
in my fingertips
although i think there was
at the time.
when i wanted to die.
when i should've died
in a chemical grip
when i stared at the ceiling
and was violently sick.
come over, lover
any of you past lovers
and hold me here tonight.
anchor me to my mattress
convince me that i'm real
that this was all meant to happen
quell me with a kiss
because i'm not convinced
that our happiness
was meant to be shattered
like this.

i never wanted to live
in a dreamless abyss.

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[Emily B]

your voice carries so strong, louder than oceans and shines

though you might not believe it