10/03/10

i painted you on a postcard
and sent you away
to be handled by the gruff men
who deliver the mail.
in the city
seventy starlings
made their headlong flight
into the cold concrete
of the paving stones
the impact smashed their tiny beaks
crushed their fragile little bones.
you came back to me
with a dent in your heart
lost and alone.
i am a fool--
and i gave you a home.

Reviews

[Dionysios]

Very stark imagery conveyed through this piece indeed. Somehow cryptic and gloomy, yet so sentimental. Tim Burton would surely love it too!

[Angelheaded Hipster]

I have re-read this three times, trying to soak in the imagery..this is such a good write, and it seems rather sad and lonely...I think Im going to have to re-read this one yet again, and I bet I'll have a different view upon it.

[emmajoy]

So much said, a masterpiece, a tragedy .. no fool with words, my friend.

[emily joe]

this is SO good !

[Lydia Blackwell]

I love the mystery of this. I love the imagery and the feelings evoked from this creative poem. It is just the sort of poetry I like. it makes me wonder and think. Great work!

[Mark]

oh wow, what a nice surprise this morning.

[Lia]

Oh my, what a beautiful poem. You show so many images with some many ways in which it can be taken. I love how it returns to you. Great!!

[Inkcognito]

True love is so precious and yet, we sometimes need to set it free to see if it will return, to see if it really is meant to be. This hurts and we ache, yearn and wait for it to come back. But when that love finally returns, it's not the same as it used to be...it may be battered, bruised and broken by its journey yet, we gladly open our arms, hearts, receive it back , give it a home once more because we still want, we still need, we stil love - unconditionally...

Such a deep, thought provoking write with vivid imagery and stunning metaphors ...brilliant job SL! :-)

[George Love]

Better, and you let the reader draw meaning rather than lead the reader to the conclusion.