walking away

before the crows
put their mark on my face
before the years
robbed all joy from me
i used to love a boy
with eyes like toffee.
i liked to watch him sleep
with his dark, silky lashes
hiding his soul.
i etched his name
on the eiffel tower.
my travel-lover
with his arms round my waist
listened to his whisper
of forever.
let him brush my hair from my face.
in the courtship phase.
worked too hard
hid my rage
behind a placid smile
only broke
when my heart didn't.

and i carried his foetus
in two thousand and fifteen
and swelled up
beyond all recognition.
dropped my wedding ring
down the sink one day

and walked away.