somebody tried to break into my house tonight

i can't sleep, forgive me.

somebody tried to break into my house tonight.

i crept downstairs,
in search of the french chocolate
my father had brought back from a skiing holiday.
as my slippers
touched the cold tile
at the bottom of the stairs.
the garden door slammed shut
and the keys swung back and forth
like those newton's cradles
you find in the bedrooms
of adolescent males
with science fixations.
i thought,
it's dad
gone out for a f*g.
he usually does
at this time.
(it was quarter to nine.)
and he'd drunk the best part
of a bottle of red wine.
i hopped onto the kitchen counter,
and retrieved a half-eaten bar.
claimed four squares
and shut the door.

my family were all there.
under blankets
nibbling the remnants of a pizza
and getting spinach in their teeth.
if they were in here
who was out there?
i stared at them and couldn't speak.

somebody tried to break into my house tonight.
so i'm trying to figure out
how to lock my bedroom door
but keep the landing light.
and who is looking through my window
hidden in the dark
out of sight?

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

The first thing that really caught my attention was the word "F*g". It surprised me because I hadn't noticed that you were from the UK. lol. Anyways, The details in this story were awesome. I like how you used a gift from loved one, that came from a beautiful place, to lead into the the frightening scenes ahead. I also liked the scene of the family together under a blanket. They were eating possibly the #1 comfort food as their home was being invaded. I like how there are extremes of innocence and evil all over the poem, but your dialogue is the neutral cohesion that brings it all together. I find it odd that such emotion could serve as neutral territory, but it works. In the end, you finished with strong feeling. Once again you somehow brought everything back to a neutral place. I've never seen fear used in this way. Bravo. The imagery was great, but your composition here is most impressive to me. Your thoughts were all strategically placed. This poem is comparable to the classic triangular compositions of Renaissance art period.