colder

gloomy saturday,

you were dressed as a civilian.

stopping my tears.

as the customers wait,

for their drip drip drip

golden fix.

my hands were shaking.

i always shake these days,

as if my own life

were stalking me.

the world's edge blurred

with your pallor,

and the dark shadows

began to hug our eyes.

you turned to me.

"would you be interested,

in fixing me?"

my coldness, a forced

apology.

i panic in the face of intimacy.