i forgive you

there's a man who loves me,

in his own way.

though i am nothing like the shining child

of his memory.

i left the house

when he entered it again.

i'll always treasure the way,

you were a big brother

and not a father.

i loved watching you chainsmoking

and drinking coffee

instead of watching your back

always walking away

from our family.

getting high at the snooker hall

or drunk at the pub on christmas eve

while we sat in pajamas, freezing

past our bedtime,

i don't regret that i had to find

a man to raise me and to love me.

because you fucked up

so royally.

and yet, inside

i can't wait to hand you your first grandchild.

i want a second chance for the man

raised in oppression and hate

who can't even express

a feeling

who still sees three babies

instead of grown women and men.

the emotionally stunted father

who worked so hard

to provide a good life for us

my mother says

'he talks about you all week

wondering when you'll come visiting'

like he's a jealous child.

because i left him too.

Reviews

[Stephen]

I can relate to this writing. Thanks for sharing

[Sami Khalil]

Thank you for sharing this good write...:)........................