Haze

Staring into the haze,
the frost,
the frozen rain
sputtering down onto the land
the sea
the mountain tops.

On top
of the earth, on top of the world, searching the haze
for any sign of life. Sifting through sea
water, scraping off the frost.
I’m lost. My landing
is shaky. I’m slipping in the rain.

It never seems to stop raining.
It starts at the top
and falls to the ground, waters the land.
I’m lost in the haze.
My heart is frosted
over. I can’t see

the beauty. I can’t see
anything. I can barely feel the rain.
The air is frozen. It turns the rain to frost.
And from the top
of the mountain where I stand the haze
is so thick I can’t see the land

below. Fall from here and I won’t land.
I’ll fall forever. In a never ending sea
of hazy
rain,
of top
soil and frost.

But the frost
won’t freeze me and I won’t reach the land,
and the top
soil won’t dirty me and the sea
and the rain
won’t wet me and the haze

will cradle me. My frosty heart can rest and I’ll see
clearly. My landing won’t come and the rain
will keep falling but from the top I can finally see through the haze.

Author's Note

I don't know if my sestina makes any sense to people other than me. A sestina is a form of poetry with six six line stanzas and one three line stanza. There are six words that end each line, the order of which line they end changing each stanza. It's hard to explain but easy to write once you get the hang of it.

Reviews

[Norman T]

I have to admit that I found the sestina form rather confusing, but the "message"of your poem was very clear, after reading your profile. The metaphors were excellent, showing the progress of battling with perceived fears (through the haze - falling into an endless sea). Then you end with the more optimistic lines surmounting the fears and seeing them in their true perspective.
So Catherine, despite my earlier reservations, I think this was a very effective poem, that needed a careful analysis to get the full benefit.

Norman


E

[Catherine]

Thanks for the review, Norman. To clarify are you saying that the poem needs a little bit of background on me before it can be truly understood? That's what I took from you at least. I have to say, it makes sense. I feel like sometimes my writing only makes sense in my own head so I'm trying to find a way to make it more accessible to an audience who doesn't have any background on me. Thanks again!

[Tom]

Always encouraging to learn new styles of writing as you have exemplified so well through this expressively portrayed poem !

[Catherine]

Thanks so much, Tom. I'm glad you enjoyed it!