It
was cold where my body was lying, on grey metal and with a sharp light penetrating
my layers of being. I felt naked to their eyes, yet content in their presence by
way of their gentle charisma, in spite of their curious looks. Wearing aprons of
white as if born by man, they hid behind faces I could not understand or distinguish
caused by shadow. They were staring at me thoroughly, standing still and very close,
communicating collectively by waves of energy, strings of thought. All is
connected in a way I knew nothing of, in a way subsequent to human birth I
forgot. One handed me a mirror in a manner serene. They were there for me,
caring, helping me to see and with no intention to cause harm. I knew by how I
was feeling. I saw what they had done. More real than a dream and closer to home,
a place to where I'll return. Fragments of a memory. Awakening to reality. We
are but one.
I think this write has so many surreal elements and metaphors, that it`s hard to understand them and collect them at once. An eye, white aprons, medicine, seeing, understanding, feeling..It has waves of subconscious energy on the reader. The music too adds to such strange emotions. For me is a hard to imagine myself in this place, but you let me imagine, as if I become part of your world. Another feeling I had is of alien dream, as if you meet creatures from another plant, who want to see you closely, though you can`t see them well. Mirror is the transparent gate to this different reality, and the eye.
Very good piece.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
The poem is essentially describing a dream I had, everything I happened to see and feel throughout t.. read moreThe poem is essentially describing a dream I had, everything I happened to see and feel throughout the experience. It felt strange and yet real, upon awakening. You are accurate though, I did dream of exterrestrials. Thank you, Sugar, for your words :)
10 Years Ago
You are welcome! it`s so amazing and strange dream :)
I think this write has so many surreal elements and metaphors, that it`s hard to understand them and collect them at once. An eye, white aprons, medicine, seeing, understanding, feeling..It has waves of subconscious energy on the reader. The music too adds to such strange emotions. For me is a hard to imagine myself in this place, but you let me imagine, as if I become part of your world. Another feeling I had is of alien dream, as if you meet creatures from another plant, who want to see you closely, though you can`t see them well. Mirror is the transparent gate to this different reality, and the eye.
Very good piece.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
The poem is essentially describing a dream I had, everything I happened to see and feel throughout t.. read moreThe poem is essentially describing a dream I had, everything I happened to see and feel throughout the experience. It felt strange and yet real, upon awakening. You are accurate though, I did dream of exterrestrials. Thank you, Sugar, for your words :)
10 Years Ago
You are welcome! it`s so amazing and strange dream :)
very intense flow and a very good write :) good work.
however I would advise , for poems, shorter lines :)
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a very interesting way this is put upon paper...almost need eye surgery after reading it...a swarm of words, but in fragments, there is only a buzzing...not a comprehending.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Just as we often recall our dreams, in splinters. Thank you for sharing your view, Jacob :)
I felt the rhythm of this piece and the smoothness of the tones and flow...
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
That's great. I can imagine some will find it bumpy and uncannily irregular, in regards to the blend.. read moreThat's great. I can imagine some will find it bumpy and uncannily irregular, in regards to the blend of words and music. However, they match as I prefer it.
Eli told me I should read your work... So, I am here.
This first read shows me she is not wrong in esteem for your way with words.
In this write, I saw a little of your spirit. You trust still. You believe strongly. You have known sorrows and darkness, but you choose to see the light and the gifts in life.
The actual experience was interesting and relatable to any of us who have had actual eye surgery, to those who have not also, because we know the power if what we see.
As a metaphor however, this write is very intriguing. I find myself wondering what I could see if I would but trust more and look always with gratitude into the mirrors I am provided.
I am an instant fan. :)
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
How kind she did. I'm glad you stopped by and that you took pleasure in reading this piece! I am act.. read moreHow kind she did. I'm glad you stopped by and that you took pleasure in reading this piece! I am actually describing a dream I had, a dream that felt like a memory, which made a huge personal impact on my life in regards to how I perceive all there is. I was gently pushed into viewing things differently for it was time. Thank you so much, David, for your beautiful words. :)
I see. You and Eli are strong dreamers.
These dreams show you your own depths more clearly th.. read moreI see. You and Eli are strong dreamers.
These dreams show you your own depths more clearly than the conscious mind can.
How wonderful your dream revealed a spirit of hope! This is a spiritually symbolic dream as well... But I think you know this already.
It was a pleasure to read your work. I hope we will be friends.
10 Years Ago
Yes, I'm aware :) It was just as pleasant for me to read your views, thank you. I will come by for y.. read moreYes, I'm aware :) It was just as pleasant for me to read your views, thank you. I will come by for your work also and you're already a friend. I've got plenty of room left in my space!
the eyes are so tender and delicate yet they are what we are, our personality, the looking out and the taking in, but still without them you describe a scene so well, that comes from an even deeper place, the mind,
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
I do love your take on this :) Thank you, paddy, for reading and reviewing.
10 Years Ago
you are welcome.
I love it Selmzz, wow... when you speak of grey metal, and penetrating, I think almost you replace yourself to a robot state of being, separated from the world, into pure rationalization of being. You landed on another planet litteraly, in your creative awestruck being, here, felt accepted by them, yet you were creating the atmosphere around you to observe, and feel it through you what was meant to be ~ Wow, this is fantastic writing.... bliss of raw, technicolor, visions. You were home... (Alien-nation) maybe, :) I"m smiling there, (Elien vibes). hehe... And yes, you and we and me and you are but one ;-) there is only gravity, a galaxy and the fact of time, and space between us! :) this write goes into my favorites, for it's utterly beautiful, and highly intelligent, so... what else I can say? high five on the fact we know there is more... hah! -x- love you!
- Elisa
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
You are fantastic, hah. I was experimenting with this one, as you know. I wanted it to have a surrea.. read moreYou are fantastic, hah. I was experimenting with this one, as you know. I wanted it to have a surreal feel and at the same time be brutally honest. You catch my drift always. I cannot hide from you! There is more than meets the eye, more than meets this single realm of existence, definitely x
10 Years Ago
Hah! I think you are :) it's pure art... so surreal, with FanFiction woven through it, but REAL yes!.. read moreHah! I think you are :) it's pure art... so surreal, with FanFiction woven through it, but REAL yes!! Yes, definitely haha! -x- and I love our codes too, hence to the other writing I reviewd... much love sweet friend! :)
I'm Michelle. To strangers I may seem reluctant, but I'm really quite open towards those that are patient and genuinely interested in getting to know me. I think a lot. I'm hardly ever bored. I've.. more..