Bang - Scene 5

Scene 5

Louise’s Office. The pair are mid-session, enjoying an awkward silence. Louise is staring intently at Ste who begins to fidget under her gaze, eventually leaping out of his seat.

STE: Let’s play a game.

LOUISE: Oh?

STE: Eye Spy with my little eye.

LOUISE: A bit juvenile for your brilliant mind, don’t you think Stephen?

STE: I’ll go first. I spy with my little eye something beginning with... B.

(LOUISE says nothing)

Guess

(Nothing)

Oh go on guess!

LOUISE: Boredom.

STE: For f**k’s sake Lulu, boredom is an abstract noun, don’t be thick! How can anybody spy boredom? Can you spy dignity or love or injustice? It’s a concept. Go again.

LOUISE: Book.

STE: Do I look that f*****g simple?

LOUISE: B*****d.

STE: BOY! [He grabs a photo frame by Louise’s desk and rubs it in her face.] Boy! Boy! Boy! Boyfriend by the looks of it. Little old for you too. What is he? Fifty? Fifty five?

LOUISE: Stephen!

STE: Hey, if you’re in the market for a younger model you know "

LOUISE: Give it back!

STE: Ah Lulu wasn’t I only "

LOUISE: Now.

[He passes back the photo and sits. She regards it tenderly]

He’s 48.

STE: I wasn’t far wrong.

LOUISE: Shut up! He’s more of a man than you’ll ever be anyway...

STE: Well if that’s true you clearly aren’t doing your job right. Where’d you meet him?

LOUISE: An art exhibition a few years ago. He was over from England trying to sell some of his work...

STE: A starving artist is he?

LOUISE: Far from starving.

STE: Of course, when he’s got a sugarmomma like you to buy him his denture glue. I only hope he’s compensating you suitably if you get me... (Pause) He isn’t, is he? He can’t!

LOUISE: Shut up.

ST: Oh no, no way, no way this is too good, all your ripping on me about the size of my c**k and so forth and your geriatric fella can’t even "

LOUISE: Get out.

STE: What?

LOUISE: I said out.

STE: Ah come on now Lulu...

LOUISE: Get the f**k out of here before I rip you to pieces!

STE: You can’t do that to me... I’m a patient. You expect me to be unstable! Just when you think you can’t take it you throw me out on my ear? How do you think I feel? I live with this! Twenty four hours seven days a week I am fucked up and you don’t think I would f*****g LOVE to show myself the door? If I’m stuck with this s**t well then f**k me so are you Lulu!

LOUISE: Shite. Telling me you’re unstable, unstable my hole! You wish you were unstable, what you wouldn’t give to be as fucked up as some of the maniacs I’ve seen in my life! At least then you’d have some sort of reasoning, some sort of excuse, when all you are, Ste, is just a lonely little boy, who wants to be a goddamn rockstar. Who wants people to know, wants people to care about his miserable little existence. Well I’m past caring Ste. You can show yourself out.

STE: Fine. Fine!