Bang - Scene 2

Scene 2

STE, returning from a session with LOUISE, finds his best friend of his entire life, the sweet but dull VINNIE awaiting him in his room.

STE’s bedroom. VINNIE is already there, strumming idly on a guitar. He stands up, checks the time, wanders to a poster of a naked woman and eyes it for a moment. He then goes to unzip his jeans, shoving his hands down them when STE enters. He quickly withdraws.

VINNIE: Ste!

STE: (Suspicious) Alright...

VINNIE: Where’ve you been?

STE: Out.

VINNIE: With who?

STE: Your ma. How the f**k’d you get in my room?

VINNIE: Your ma, now you bring it up.

STE: Brilliant. So what’d I miss today? Fill me in on the latest gossip, the news of that haven of wisdom and knowledge that is Collins’ Comprehensive?

VINNIE: Usual shite. The f**k’ve you been anyway?

STE: Sick.

VINNIE: You don’t look sick.

STE: Don’t I?

VINNIE: Nah. I’ve seen you sick. Not a beautiful sight I can tell you.

STE: I’m sure.

VINNIE: Shite spewin’ out of every imaginable artifice "

STE: Orifice.

VINNIE: Even so. The night we knocked back half a bottle of absinthe watching Saw 3. It was sick you was then let me tell you. Sick you was then and sick you ain’t now.

STE: Sick in the head maybe.

VINNIE: Sure aren’t we all? I’m telling you there is not a f*****g person on this earth who hasn’t thought of topping themselves at least once. You maybe twice or three times.

STE: Well aren’t you the observant one?

VINNIE: I am and all. Sure wasn’t it me who found you the first time? The blood halfway to your ankles?

STE: Ah it was yeah. Tunes?

VINNIE: Tunes.

(VINNIE fumbles at the stereo. Marylin Manson’s ‘Tainted Love’ plays. The two bob their heads along to the music. VINNIE soon starts to join in)

VINNIE: ONCE AH RAN TO YOU (falsetto) AH RAN! NOW AH RUN FROM YOUUU! THIS TAINTED LOVE YOU’VE GIVEN, I GIVE YOU ALL A SOMETHING SOMETHING (at this point STE, who has been eyeing the scene disapprovingly, turns off the music) TAKE MY TEARS AND THATS NOT REALLY "

(VINNIE stops suddenly, embarrassed, glances at STE, who shakes his head slowly. VINNIE sits, shamed.)

(Long pause)

VINNIE: Marylin Manson. (STE nods) He’s doin fair well for himself for an ugly fella.

STE: Scary is the word. F****n’ psychopathic looking.

VINNIE: Not like you. Sure looking you wouldn’t think you were a psychopath at all like.

STE: Thanks man.

VINNIE: He’s riding your one too. Dita Von Tight Twat or whatever it is.

STE: Nice rack.

VINNIE: Gives hope to ugly mugs like us, yeah?

STE: Vinnie.

VINNIE: Yeah,?

STE: Manson is riding Tight Twat right?

VINNIE: Right.

STE: Because he’s got enough cash to keep her tits inflated ‘til the polar caps melt.

VINNIE: F**k me... Could he take her to Majorca?

STE: And back again, Vinnie.

VINNIE: Even I’d ride a fella with silver teeth’d take me to Majorca.

STE: One day Vinnie. One day.

VINNIE: Ah sure, we’ll always have each other. (Pause) I mean in a spiritual way ‘course. Brotherly. Not for riding.

STE: Yes Vinnie.

VINNIE: D’you remember when we were made blood brothers Stevie?

STE: I do.

VINNIE: Used a rusty f*****g razorblade and I was so excited I slashed the veins on me hands.

STE: I remember.

VINNIE: The first time I ever saw your blood. Didn’t think it’d be the first of many, you know what I mean? (Laughs, turning awkward when doesn’t join in. Pause) But still, that time... I mean the time you tried to top yourself. D’you remember that Stevie? D’you remember?

STE: Yes, I do.

VINNIE: The blood spatterin’ out of you like an epileptic hose. You and your rusty razor blade. Did just what mammy did for me when I cut my hand for the blood pact. I calmly grabbed a clean towel, and I said WHAT THE FECK DO YE THINK YOU’RE DOING YE PEABRAINED FECK YE! Wrapped you up. Called the ambulance. Would’ve gotten there earlier only I had to ring 11890 for the number. But it got ye in the end. And here we are.

STE: Here we are.

(OFF) STE’S MAM: Vincent! Stephen! Dinner!

Vincent looks to Ste expectedly, excitedly

STE’S MAM: Vincent? Did you hear me?

STE: She’s calling you, man.

Vinnie is confused for a few moments, his eyes dart between his friend and the door. Ste urges him on. He scrambles up.

VINNIE: Coming, Mrs D!

Ste scoffs as he nearly falls headfirst out the door with excitement. He regards the room for a moment, takes out a guitar and strums. Lights fade.