Bang - Scene 1

Story of a boy's downward spiral to commit an act of absolute atrocity.

Scene 1

This scene takes place in a therapist’s office. It is arranged to look as comfortable and homely as possible but medical textbooks and a faint scent of disinfectant give it that medicinal feel that can’t be escaped. The Clash’ “Should I Stay or Should I Go” erupts and STE leaps into the light centre stage, armed with a lamp as an air guitar. There is a knocking on the door, which is ignored several times. Finally, LOUISE, the pretty young therapist, bursts in, arms laden with papers. Music cuts.

STE: Ah! You must be the rapist.

LOUISE: Excuse me?

STE: Ah " sorry. (STE flops onto the patient’s couch) THE-RA-PIST. I’m always getting those two mixed up. (Pause) Well, take a seat. (LOUISE does so, setting her papers down on the desk between them, STE promptly rests his feet on them.)

LOUISE: So you’re Stephen?

STE: Ste.

LOUISE: Ste. Stephen Dirt?

STE: The one and only.

LOUISE: The uncommunicative, introverted, difficult and unresponsive Stephen Dirt? Three suicide attempts, a history of violence and six previous counsellors Stephen Dirt?

(STE makes a sarcastically flirtatious wave and winks.)

LOUISE: (Pause) I’ve been reviewing your case history. (She yanks a page from beneath STE’s foot.)

STE: I can see that.

LOUISE: Your last counsellor saw that he was making little progress and requested a professional.

STE: And when does she get here?

LOUISE: She’s waiting around ‘til your balls drop. She’s not a paediatrician.

STE: (Pause) I like you. (Leaps from couch to inspect room) You’ve caught me on a good day, Miss eh...?

LOUISE: Delaney.

STE: Gotcha. You’ve caught me on a good day Miss Delaney. I woke up this morning to an epiphany: I was hard. I had just dreamt about Catwoman in a cage fight against one of those Gladiator girls and let me tell you I was pitching a tent like you wouldn’t believe. Throbbing and girating and f*****g everything. So I looked out my window, at the first dewy rays of the morning sun and I thought to myself: If my c**k, which is continually denied and deprived of its most basic requirements on an almost daily basis, can greet every morning with a boner of granite proportions, well, why can’t I? Pretty profound, don’t you think?

LOUISE: Positively inspiring. So now you intend to greet every day with a fully erect penis?

STE: A metaphorically erect penis.

LOUISE: Meaning what?

STE: Anything you want it to.

LOUISE: Stephen, what did you use last time you tried to kill yourself?

STE: A hammer.

LOUISE: Uh-huh. (Scribbles furiously in a notepad)

STE: I’m an original you see. I thought, if I’m gonna go, it’s gonna be with a bang. Or at the very least, a splat. Leave my mark. Something to remember me by.

LOUISE: Charming.

STE: I thought so. (Pause) I left a note too. Goodbye, cruel world! Have fun getting this off the upholstery.

LOUISE: It’s just a shame such genius was wasted.

STE: Thankyou. Finally, a shrink who understands me. Someone I can identify with. Well s**t, you know, I think I’m cured, No more depression for me " I’ll just see myself out.

(STE casually clambers for the door.)

LOUISE: Sit.

(STE tries the handle. It’s locked.)

STE: (Amused) Do we have a hostage situation on our hands here?

LOUISE: You could say that.

STE: In that case, what are your demands?

LOUISE: That you let me do my job.

STE: (Sighs) Fine. Shoot.

LOUISE: (Donning glasses, switching to therapist mode) How old are you, Stephen?

STE: Eighteen next month.

LOUISE: Young.

STE: Yeah young.

LOUISE: But old enough to know you’ve seen all you need of this world, eh?

STE: Oh, more than enough. I’ve seen things that’d turn your skull into mush. Horrors beyond your wildest imagination, terror, gore, unspeakable woe, but worst of all...

LOUISE: You see dead people?

STE: That too.

(LOUISE says nothing, only writes)

STE: I know what you’re writing. Denial, delusion, God complex. I steal their notebooks. Usually pretty standard stuff I almost never have to look anything up. But maybe you’re different. You could be dreaming up your own little world in there. Blue skies and farms and trees... A real fantasy.

LOUISE: If you’re trying to put me off, it’s not working.

STE: A fantasy. Don’t see much action in your line of work, do you? Bet all that talk of boners at tents has got you nice and...

LOUISE: (Pause) Why are you here?

STE: Don’t ask me.

LOUISE: I am asking you.

STE: I was sent.

LOUISE: Against your will?

STE: Yeah against my f*****g will.

LOUISE: You don’t seem like the type of person you can force to do much.

STE: I do give off a dominant impression.

LOUISE: Tell me about your mother.

STE: I am disappointed in you. That is depressingly unoriginal. Excuse me but I think I’ll have to leave.

(STE once again gets up to go, slower this time, knowing the door is locked.)

LOUISE: Hey! (Throws STE a set of keys) you’ll need these. It’s the one on the polar bear keychain.

STE: (Considering the keys) What did you say your name was?

LOUISE: I didn’t. (Beat) Louise.

STE: (Nodding) Louise... I’ll see you around Louise.

 

Reviews

[koopa]

Brilliant. Can't wait to see what happens. Ste is a funny charming character I thought. Some great lines. Dialogue flows well too. Has he got an air gun in the room? Interesting. Yeah I liked it.