The Girl...

It's funny when you come to this realization about something...or it is for me because I don't come to happy conclusions....I wait until things are beyond doubtful to assume anything...Which is bad.

 

When She Whispered

In my ear

My world lit up

A smile formed as I looked up

She was the first to notice

To even care...

But when my eyes rose to see her face

There was nothing there

As if she'd vanished in thin air

Or worse...

She'd never been there

A sigh must have escaped

My lips a little too loudly

Because suddenly

all eyes were on me

eyes full of wicked happiness

Something I will never truly know...

Because she was never really there

Not like I am for her...

And I know now

That this one sided affair

Will only pay off

In more tears

Than I am willing to waste

On one pretty little face...

So I pick myself up

and walk away from all the happiness

that I will never have

I walk far away from my hallucination

The girl

That will never be mine

 

Author's Note

if you notice anything wrong, please let me know. :]

Reviews

[PureRomance]

I don't see anything wrong, but this poem is absolutely amazing. I think you did a marvelous job with this and I think that each one of us can relate to this poem because atleast once in our lives we feel invisible to those we do so admire. I think you did great expressing the message of wanting to be noticed. Keep up the excellent work and never ever think that the stars are always out of reach. Keep on reaching you will get there as long as you don't give up. God bless you always in everything that you do and write and keep up the fabulous work. I look forward to reading more from you when I get more time.

[Crowley]

Whether self or another, this is a common theme and one that you did a fabulous job relaying to the reader. Very sad but eloquently written. Nice work.

[Shante Payne]

I came to return the love and I am pleasantly suprised. This has such a powerful message. And I almost want to take it in the most literal way and assume that the speaker is speaking of someone who she really wants to be...like the girl within. Ofcourse I could be wrong, but either way I love it.

[deeps]

Awe! This is so wonderful and beuatiful, I like this write, very well descibed feelings in this.

[Robert Erickson]

aww baby you allmost make rob-e cria , you are such a sweet person it shows in your writing , =) love u sweetie ! =)

[poetic soul]

awww......this is very very sad! its absolute pleasure though to read this one..... nothing wrong at all.. :)

Regards,
Poetic Soul

[Emily Uckele]

This poem is amazing Shea. You put a lot of feelings and emotions into it. You really make the reader think.

[Philosophile. (Maddy)]

I didn't notice anything wrong, but I do think that if you included more punctuation marks the reader could understand the pauses and how it should be read better. I understand the feeling of trying to be there for someone, but never having them there when you need them. Well done!