Lethargy

This poem was written at five in the morning in a bout of grogginess where I was so tired but just couldn't sleep. It started off nice, but then I had a sort of half-asleep paranoia.

The best place to experience the supernatural
is the mystical mind trip between slow
awareness and drool on the pillow,
where senses are numb and thinking is dull,

and the only thing keeping you from truly falling asleep
is the idle lump in the back of your mind
that drags its shattered teeth down your crooked spine.
It makes you think of the eerie things that creep

into your dreams and paint your flesh
with their oozing tongues
(which tend to leave a trail of acid, among
other things) and gnash

their rotten, bleeding teeth
against fragile, bone-flavoured candy.
The rusty glow of their eyes proves handy
to petrify children of what lies beneath.

And since I wouldn't dare risk turning off the light,
I sure as hell won't fall asleep tonight.

Author's Note

I realize that the line breaks are a tad awkward, but it was hard to fit them to the rhyme scheme (this is my first attempt at a structured piece since grade school).

Reviews

[Liv]

I agree with Elissa; very sharp, and I like appreciate the way it's written.
The end is my favorite part:

"And since I wouldn't dare risk turning off the light,
I sure as hell won't fall asleep tonight."

...I can also relate, since it's now 5am here and I'm getting to that slightly-asleep-and-awake mode.

[Elissa; the genuine art..]

This is fascinating.
Definitely one of the best writes I've read today [it's going in my favorites]
I love the edge to this.
Each line gets my full attention.
It's sharp.
Excellent work!

-Elissa :)