Socialize

This outlines the struggles of someone with social anxiety.

I feel trapped, bucketless
in a downpour of words,
somewhere beyond the moment,
sometimes empty and always calloused.

Silence manifests among the clouds
as I slowly embrace the inevitable.
Inside this box, a semi-crowded room,
spills the part of my brain
that still enjoys 3am stargazing.

Drift with me into the exosphere
where we can ruminate above the eye
and paint our toes with
partly-cloudy skies while I clear
a spot for understanding
so that I may clip its wings.

Beyond this moment of wanting,
the insects sleep peacefully
while I combat an ocean of liquid apprehension
with a spoon, trying to convince myself
to be the question and not the asker.

save me if I cannot speak.

run rampant towards the edge
to bathe in lonely twilight,
resenting anywhere but here.
Limitless possibility mocks like
tiny thoughts waiting at the bottom,
jagged rocks.

Columns of creation conceal limitless space,
but from below she is a shadow,
all dimensions collapsing inwards,
solidity congealing. I escape my cocoon
to drown in strange dusk.

somebody quiet
haunts me.