When love...

I fell in love with someone who I thought loved me back.

The darkness engulfs
This naked body
Curled up
On the cold floor
A ray of sun
Finds its way
Through curtains
Split by a gentle breeze
Kissing her skin
Causing goose bumps
Symbolizing the irony
Of what her heart carries
And her mind knows…
A love lost
Which was never found

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I understand this poem. Love given and not returned.
"A love lost
Which was never found"
I believe like the old country song. Love attempted. A worthwhile attempt. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Scrap]

Yes. It is that.

Thank you for Reading

X

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[mattavelli]

Welcome to Writerscafe!
She's carried away on a "breeze" and dropped without compassion. It's a harsh story, but you made it lovely.

[Scrap]

Thank you. 'Sigh'

[Willard Wells]

"Love Lost", jumps out from the piece to be the title. You said no reads and I would not have read, but you did a friend request, which ....................

If you want to be read, read and comment on others work. Tit for tat.

That being said I like this work. Very nice.

One thing that stuck me as I read was the second line. From that, I took it as a personal piece, but the rest of the work refers to "her". Many opinions. 1 "The naked body", 2 "engulfed in darkness"

No matter it is your work and your decision on how you want your work to appear. Peace out.

[Scrap]

Thank you Willard. I like your suggestion. Do I make the change here or is this for future reference?

Ive been reviewing quite a bit today. I like reading other ppls work.

Thank you once again

[Willard Wells]

I expected you had been reading, but some don't get that part of it. I would go to manage and make any changes. Then mark in box it is an edit. If you don't mark it, you end of with two entries in your managed list.

I go back and make a little correction or major re-writes to older work. I find my view changes and I can smooth it out sometimes and make it flow better or in my case make sense.

Welcome to WC.

[Woody]

I'm sorry for you, Scrap. for the lack of reviews. but don't despair. it's only the beginning. let people discover you. review others and you'll certainly get reviewed.
now, I'm not a great poetry critic, I'm afraid I won't be of much help. but I quite like this. I like the description. I can picture the scene. the naked body on the floor, the curtain..
title? how about: Lost love?

[Scrap]

Thank you Woody. Yay! My first reviewer! :)

I don't want to give away the end in the title. Any other idea?

[Woody]

oh gosh let's see. destiny?

[Scrap]

:)))

I did it...called it 'When love....'

P.S. Is the only way one can see if one has commented or reviewed on the 'home' page? I can imagine if one misses a day one misses the who's and where's.

[Woody]

nice title. and no you won't lose the notification. it'll be there when you come back. just like facebook.