Jalin and the River

Jalins day to day routine is interrupted by something far beyond his grasp.

Jalin could feel the heat of the early morning sun as it cut through the trees. The smell of morning dew was a relaxing scent to take in. Jalin looked over at Nell, who was still asleep on his bedding. The river sounded the best this time of morning. Nell seemed to be in a deep sleep, “it would probably be best not to wake him”, Jalin thought. Jalin was a man of middle age, cloth draped from head to ankles tied together by old roots. Baskets full of berries and other items they gathered  from the forest last night gave Jalin some free time to himself this morning. “I wonder if the others are awake?”. Jalin walked towards the river that separated the land he was on to the other side. Every morning Jalin tries to see the people on the other side of the river. It would not be wise to cross the heavy current, especially this time of day. As Jalin reaches the edge of the river, he can see someone on the other side through the thick of the trees. He cannot make out who it is, but knows they are there. Jalin throws up his arm and waves it erratically. The person on the other side does the same back. Jalin laughs and yells “morning!”  , then heads back to his camp. He wishes he could meet the people on the other side of the river, all this time and he still has no clue as to who they are.

 

By the time Jalin makes it back to camp Nell is already up and making stew. “Smells great Nell can’t wait to try some”. Nell is dressed in the same attire as Jalin, he looks up from the fire and smiles when he notices Jalin. “It’s almost done, I’ll let you know when it’s ready”. Jalin lets Nell get back to what he loves doing, cooking. Throughout the day, Jalin and Nell gather wood, berries, and other necessities to get through the night. As the day got darker it got colder. Nell was finishing up making his third basket for the day, Jalin was contemplating sleep or to stay up until the fire turned to flickers of red coals. “I’m going to visit the river one last time before I sleep, Nell”. Nell looks up from his basket, “Be careful, I’ll see you soon”. Nell waves to Jalin as he makes his way through the waist high brush towards the river. It was calm; the current seemed almost at a stand-still. Jalin squinted his gaze across the river to see if he could see any sign of light or people, nothing. A rock that would be perfect for skipping caught Jalin's eye. He brings his arm back and throws it with all his might. The rock skips harshly across the water, flying into the trees on the other side. A loud thump ringed back across the trees to Jalin. “…” Jalin had no word’s, he has never heard a sound like that. His curiosity suddenly erupts inside him, he tries to think of what that sound could have been, but nothing he’s ever heard came to mind.

 

Jalin runs back to camp. Nell was already asleep next to the dying fire. Jalin grabs a rope he and Nell made a few weeks back, made out of roots and dead plants. He ties the end of the rope to a small log near camp and heads back to the river. Jalin's heart was racing, rope in hand, he starts swinging it in a full circle. With everything he has, Jalin aims the log at a tree that forks off into other branches. To his luck and amazement, the log lands right between the gaps. Jalin ties off his end of the rope to a nearby tree. He stops just before the edge of the river, one hand on the rope. Jalin has never done anything like this, “what if I get hurt, get swept down the stream, or die. Jalin's curiosity gets the best of him and he starts to make his way across the river. 

 

Every inch of water sends an icy prick to his skin. By the time the water gets to his waist, his feet are feeling like raw rubber. Hand over hand he pulls himself to the other side. He knows he can make it, and has every intention of doing so. His legs are completely useless at this point; it feels as if he doesn’t even have any.  “Finally” his hands slam down on the bank of the river on the opposite side. He pulls himself up, having to drag himself and his numb lower half out of the freezing water. His nose buried in the grass as he attempts to catch his breath. Jalin rolls over on his back; feeling scared but more so satisfied that he made it. “Now to find my rock”. Jalin waits to get feeling back in his legs and makes his way into the trees. Not very long venturing into the trees he sees someone. Jalin stops and stares at the person in front of him. “Who are you,” Jalin asked, but there was no response.  Every minor move Jalin made the person would mimic him. With a more stern voice, Jalin repeats himself. “Who. Are. You”. There was still no response. Jalin starts walking towards the person until his head slams into something. Jalin looks up almost to the sky; he then looks to both sides of him. “A reflection?!” Jalin was completely confused. A giant mirror that stretched from the both sides and up to the sky replaced the forest. He put one hand on the mirror and started walking along with it. It had been at least twenty minutes of walking before he started to wonder if this was all just a waste of time or even a dream for that matter.

 

  “I wonder if Nell is worried, if my rope is still intact, what I am even doing here”. Thoughts raced through Jalin's head as he walked with his head staring at the ground. He almost didn’t realize it but the texture of smooth glass turned into rough-steel abruptly. Jalin stopped and whipped his head towards the wall. “A door, out in the forest?”.Jalin thought to himself. What looked to be glowing symbols very lightly illuminated a portion of the door. Each touch of the symbols let out a different tone that quickly snapped the silence. Jalin pressed a series of the five symbols. “5, 9, 3, 1, 7”. A click and a release of the air-locked door opened. Jalin lost his breath from the overwhelming view that lay before him. The sky turned into metal. Lights hung from steel string. Jalin took a few steps forward, out of the forest setting he was in before. Jalin now stood in the middle of a giant warehouse. “He came out of air-lock 7A” a voice echoed through the building. “I have visual, where getting him now”, another voice said. Jalin turned around and saw several men in black clothes running towards him. Jalin screamed and ran the opposite directions from them. Jalin ran down cement hallways, several wires hung down from the ceiling. A door looked to be opened to his left. “Jalin stop!”, but that’s the last thing he was planning on doing. Jalin slams open the door with his shoulder, as he turns to close it he sees the numbers of people chasing him have doubled.

The door clicks shut, the men behind it are already attempting to open it. Jalin looks back in the room, its pitch black. Step by step Jalin moves more into the darkness until at the very end of the room a light comes on. Fluorescent lights radiant the end of the room. Every couple seconds the next light would come on, working their way towards Jalin. In amazement and wonder, Jalin is stunned at what’s surrounding him. Giant glass tubes, hoses inserted in almost every part of them, water up over their heads. It was him and Nell, several of them, copies. The right row lined down to the end of the room was Nell, the left, himself. By this point, the men in the black outfits burst into the room. Jalin had nowhere to run. Three of the men restrained Jalin and dragged him out of the room. “Bring him here”, a man in a white lab coat beckons the men over. “This is not the first time this has happened, Jalin”. The man in the coat comes across upset and for the most part irritated. “My name is VanKuldin, lead researcher of this facility”. Jalin still restrained by the guards looks up at VanKuldin. “What is this place?” “This Jalin is the next step in innovation and a dynamic step to sustain and harbor life”.

“The world’s greatest bio and eco-dome that is known to man”,  VanKuldin smiles at his own words. “In the event of disease, nature disasters or even a nuclear war, we can preserve our humanity”. Jalin shakes his head in disbelief, trying to comprehend what VanKuldin is speaking of. “So at this point, we must go on”. VanKuldin looks at one of the guards and nods. “Hopefully, the next Jalin won’t be like you”. A sharp pain is inserted into Jalin neck. A slow unknown mixture is pushed through the needle. “We are sorry this had to happen like this”. Every word VanKuldin spoke seemed to get more and more distant. “But rest assured, we will con...tin...our...Expe … ment...”

Nell wakes up to dead leaves and branches breaking. “Jalin! where have you been!”. Jalin drops several pieces of wood and a basket of berries in front of Nell. “Making sure we have enough supplies, as always”. Nell laughs, “It seems we always have enough doesn’t it”.  Jalin lay’s down on his mat and gets comfortable.  Nell looks over at Jalin ‘so what’s the plan today?” Jalin turns over and looks at Nell, “Just try to survive for another day”.

Reviews

[Kathy Van Kurin]

'Jalin and the River'
Scott Marion,
Your story was a great contrast between a natural world of what seemed tribal people to a high tech science fiction style realm. Intriguing change which was interesting and catchy. Good job on this story.
Blessings,
Kathy

[barleygirl]

You do a good job telling a fantastical story that switches from one realm to another one very different, with mostly smooth transitions & believable details. As I mentioned before about your writing, the long paragraphs tend to make all the action seem to be melded together . . . shorter paragraphs, each covering a discrete aspect of the action, might help to show your story sequences a little more clearly & distinctly. All in all you do a good job of character development & centering your story on the idea of the river being a delineation between worlds (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie