Your Name is Jordan

Jordan wakes up in a room. No idea who he is or why he is there. He begins to struggle with reality and whats around him.

Jordan slowly opens his eyes. Feeling the glue that held them shut while he slept  splinter apart. Glancing around the room he felt unsure exactly where he was. Looking around he notices how un-ordinary it is. It felt like a hotel room, except cleaner and missing any sort of style. A dresser with a mirror attached was in front of him. Other than that was a chair in the corner, a bedside table and the bed he woke up in. A small part of the room was dedicated to a bathroom. Jordan places his arms behind him to set himself up. A sharp pain emits from his right forearm. Three pinholes in the shape of a triangle lay fresh in his skin. Something on the mirror pulls his gaze back up. As he squints at the mirror, he notices what looks like a sheet of paper hanging from the center of it. Stumbling to his feet, he makes his way to the paper, eyes still adjusting from the grogginess. Your name is Jordan. You are 36 years old. You suffer from a condition called vascular dementia. Ring the bell by the door for assistance. We understand that this can be very confusing, we are here to help. Jordan turns his attention to the left of him. A door sits in a small entryway leading into the room.  Next to the door, was a small copper button.

He hesitantly walks over to the button. Keeping his eye on the door as he does. With his eyes locked on the door, he pushes the button. Almost simultaneously a voice fills the room. “How can I help you?” Jordan's eyes race around the room to find the location of the voice. A small intercom box sat above his bed. The box had been painted over with white, matching the walls making it hard to notice. “Ummm...yes” Jordan finally speaks up. “Where am I?” a few seconds go by before the voice comes back through. “Do not worry you are safe, we will have one of our medical staff come in shortly”. Medical staff? Jordan thinks., am I in a hospital?. Jordan nods at the intercom and slowly walks back to his bed. Did something happen, am I sick, why don't I remember?. Thoughts begin running through his mind as he slumps onto the side of the bed. He drops his head in his lap, both hands running through his hair looking for answers. A knock at the door interrupts his thoughts. “Hello, my name is Jennifer, how is everything?’ Jordan jumps to his feet. “I feel fine now I need to leave”. The nurse keeping her composure assures him. “Nobody leaves here until you are all better”. She pulls out a pill bottle from the front of her shirt pocket and a small bottle of water. “We understand you feel frightened and confused, I promise you” She emphasizes the promise “Everything will be ok”. Jordan still lost puts his hand out to receive the water. She removes the cap and dumps two pills in his outreached hand, keeping just enough distance from her to receive them. “There you go now” The nurse now standing in anticipation. “You have to watch me take them?” Jordan asks with a disgruntled look. “We have to be sure all our residents take their provided medication.” Jordan sets the bottle of water and the two pills on the bedside table. The pills slightly bounce off the table like coins hitting a hardwood floor. The eyes of the nurse bounce from the bedside table and then back to Jordan. She smiles while also gritting her teeth to stay calm “You..need..to..take.. your...pills” She sternly enunciates every word.

Jordan crosses his arms “no, I’m leaving”. Jordan walks towards the open door. The nurse lets him pass then proceeds to follow him. He is met with a wall outside his door. The hallway stretches for what seems forever to his left and right. Deciding to go left, his pace starts to pick up. The nurse as well picks up the pace behind him. “Jordan you need to return to your room!” She starts to gain on him. He now realizes he is in a dead sprint, seeing two large swing doors in front of him. Whipping his head back and forth, he notices rooms lining the entire hallway as he is running. Are they all full of people? This doesn't seem like a normal hospital. Jordan hurls his shoulder into the door, the door crashes open and slams the wall. A force stops him, bringing all his momentum to zero, he almost falls to the floor. Two gigantic arms wrap around his waist, lifting him in the air, then slamming him against the cold hard tile. Jordan inhales sharply, gasping for air. His arms flailing, hands attempting to grip the tile for air. “That's enough Micha”. The slow tap of high heel shoes steps towards his gasping body. Coming to his senses he looks at the faces looking down at him. The man that put him on the floor looks as if he has to hunch over just so his head doesn't touch the ceiling. The women on his left, red hair, professional looking, and a smile on her face. The women put her hands on her hips “ you shouldn't be out of bed like this...Micha” Micha nods, a giant fist hurls towards Jordan's face. His head bounces off the floor, knocking him out.

Jordan wakes up but keeps his eyes closed. He attempts to move his arms, his legs. With a burst of pure anger and adrenaline, he attempts to free himself from the restraints. He opens his eyes, hoping this was all a nightmare. At the foot of his bed stood Micha and the nurse. To his left, was the red-haired women, who was waiting patiently in a chair.

“About time, I know Micha can be a little rough sometimes”. Jordan starts lashing out, asking question upon question. “Shh, no need to panic” the women replies. You have a condition called vascular dementia. “You have to understand we have to take precautions to ensure the safety of us and you, the resident”.

” “Now, once you start taking your scheduled medication like your supposed to, we can see about taking off those restraints. Jordan nods in silence. “Fantastic, Jennifer, if you could”. Jennifer walks over as the red-haired woman stands up out of the chair.”My name is Dr.Hoffman by the way. Jennifer will see to you now”.

Jennifer steps up to the bedside. “All you have to do is take two of these, it's that easy” the nurse talks down to him as if he was a child. He opens his mouth to accept the pills. The nurse tilts the cup back, raising her head as she does it. Here is some water as well. “Ahh, there ya go, now swallow”. He swishes the water back and forth in his mouth, opening it to produce there is nothing there. “You see, wasn't so hard”.  The red-haired women made a small nodding gesture repeatedly as she walks out. The nurse and Micha follow. The door slams shut, he can hear a latch being locked in place, shutting him in his room.

He turns his head and spits out the pills he cheeked. The pills bounce across the floor like skipping stones and gather in the corner. A day goes by, or what he feels like one. The only way to tell is when the nurse comes in for each meal and to empty the catheter bag. The nurse has come in three times for pills, along with a bowl of mush for food. Each time, he cheeks the pills and spits them out. By now there has to be a nice pile gathering in the corner. Just lucky everything is white in this room he thinks. During the next morning, while being fed, Jordan starts to struggle with a very odd memory. It started as a flash, like a picture being shown to fast. The more he thinks about it, the longer the picture stays. He can remember himself, with his wife and child. Do I have a wife? And a kid?. “I will let Dr.Hoffman know how amazing you're doing” Jordan was staring at the mirror in front of him, her voice sounded distant. He comes to, “did you hear me” The nurse asks with her head slightly cocked to the side. “ Yes! Yes, I did, thank you”. “Let me go make a phone call and hopefully be right back to release those restraints”. “We won't have any more outbursts, will we?. Jordan shakes his head. “Good, here are your pills and I'll be right back”. As soon as he hears the door latch, he turns his head and spits the pills. Jordan violently whips his head back and forth. One of the pills was caught on his lip. Must have dissolved to fast. He could faintly hear Jennifer outside the door. If he is seen caught with a pill, he knows they will search for others. He can hear the latch creak open. Jordan inhales the pill back in his mouth and eats it. His face goes sour as he attempts to finish it. “Good news! I can release these from you so long as we don't have any problems with you”. “That's great news” he replies, keeping his lips tight as to not show any residue from the pill. With a fresh pair of gloves, she removes the catheter. The nurse then goes around each limp and detaches him from the bed. Free he says to himself. “I will be back for lunch with your food and medication”. The nurse collects the restraints as well as the catheter bag, she leaves the room.

Jordan rushes to the corner, a nice pile of pills lays stacked almost on top of each other. They somewhat dissolved into one large clump. He scoops them up and flushes them in the toilet. Staring down into the swirling water he tries to bring that memory back. But it has faded. He starts pacing around the room, thrusting his palm against his head in an attempt to remember. Ten minutes go by, the memory is now completely lost. He glances at himself in the mirror. Looking into his own eyes, his blood starts to boil, his hands now shaking. “Who are you!” He taunts the image of himself in the mirror. “Tell me!” Jordan grabs the edges of the mirror and tries to rip it off the wall. With no luck, it makes him even more furious. Still grabbing both edges of the mirror, Jordan rears back and slams his head into it. Glass and debris shatter everywhere. Jordan lifting his head peers back at the broken mirror. From what pieces are left, he can see a huge gash that ripped open his forehead. Blood gushing out, filling his mouth and covering his eyes, he could hear footsteps running towards his room. Jordan picks up a large shard of glass off the dresser.

Jennifer slams the door open, along with another nurse. “Now you put that down RIGHT NOW Jordan!” Blood still pour out of his skull, he shakes his head back and forth. Jordan brings the piece of glass up in front of him. “This time, I'm leaving”. He starts ranting while walking towards the door, glass in hand. “I have no idea where I am, who I am, or what's going on”. You feed me these pills and this bullshit food!”. The second nurse stands behind Jennifer. “You have to understand the good we are all doing,” Jennifer says with her hands up in front of her, keeping a safe distance. Every step Jordan takes closer, the nurses take a step back. Jordan now stands just outside his door frame in the hallway. The backs of both nurses against the wall behind them. He could see a blob of what looks to be guards rushing down the hallway from his left. Jordan brings the shard of glass up underneath Jennifer's chin. A small stream of blood starts to trickle down the glass. “If you don't tell me what's going on, this glass is going straight through”. The other nurse stood frozen in fear, staring wide-eyed at the glass. He could hear the footsteps getting louder. The loud thump of boots getting closer. Jordan pushes on the glass even more. “Ok, Ok!” “This is an experimental facility for a new direction in medicine. You were giving a serum to make you forget. The pills just make sure you don't remember.” “Remember what!” Jordan demands. “Your life, your actual life outside of this place”. Jennifer starts to plead with him, her eyes latched shut, but not enough to keep her tears of fright in.

He could now make out the faces of the people running towards him. Jordan bolts into a dead sprint in the other direction. Jennifer still traumatized, has her eyes shut as the guards run by. “Suspect is running south towards Housing B” The radio cuts in “Copy, we will meet you there”. No matter how hard he runs, the guards keep gaining on him. Jordan has been off his legs for too long to try and outrun them. A sharp pain simultaneously followed by agony locks his nerves up. His lifeless body drops to the tile floor in a loud thud. His arms are viciously yanked and folded behind him. He could feel cold steel and the loud cranking noise of handcuffs being put on him. The guards lift him off the floor. His feet barely touching the tile as they haul him off. They use his head to open the swing doors in front of him, adding more pain to the open gash on his head. They lead him to a room he has been in before. It looked like an operating room. Machines and medical tools align the wall. In the center of the room was a large metal operating table. Dr. Hoffman pulled up a large and odd looking machine next to the table. Jordan was only concerned about what was at the end of the machine. Three large pronged needles protruded out. He remembers now, this was the machine that injected him with the serum. Jordan tried to throw his legs down. Shaking his body attempting to get free. He was resisting like a dog knowing it was going to be put down. Four guards lifted and slammed him on the table. Each holding down a limp while Dr.Hoffman removed the handcuffs and set the restraints over his wrist and legs. “ That will be all gentleman thank you” Dr.Hoffman nods at each of the men as they leave.

A few nurses, Micha and Dr.Hoffman were the only ones in the room. “Now we told you to settle down, you said you would,” We told you to take your pills, and you said you would” “Now it has lead to this”. Jordan's face melts in fear and sadness, “I’m sorry, “ I'm so sor…” Dr.Hoffman cuts him off. “If you were sorry we wouldn't be here”. Jordan starts yelling and crying in agony. Three needles are thrown down on his forearm, piercing deep into his skin. Trying not to pass out from the pain he looks at the machine. He can see three different colors being shot through the tubes, leading into the needles, then his arm. A cold, shivering feeling overwhelms his body. His eyes begin to grow heavy and weak. Jordan wakes up in his bed. The pain in his right arm is the first thing to catch his attention. Three holes in the shape of triangle lay fresh in his forearm skin. The second thing he notices is a piece of paper attached to a mirror in front of him. Looking puzzled, Jordan gets out of his bed and walks over to the mirror. Your name is Jordan. You are 36 years old. You suffer from a condition called vascular dementia. Ring the bell by the door for assistance. We understand that this can be very confusing, we are here to help.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a circular story told with much detailed back-and-forth, with angst & action & suspense -- not easy for a story told completely within some kind of "facility"! I like your storyline about the experimental situation & it's very intense, the way you describe what they're doing to him & how he feels about it. One part that's slightly unconvincing is the name of his affliction -- vascular dementia -- you don't give your reader any idea what this is . . . which of his responses are due to this? . . . we can't tell what this diagnosis is supposed to mean. Another thing that feels a little less than polished is the way you do your "chase" scenes . . . it's a lot of wordy explanation that could be punctuated with some more guttural type sounds & sensations, making up words to show how it's going down (OOOOFFF! Thunk!), which could add more physicality, instead of being somewhat "in one's head" as this struggle is happening. These are minor bumps & the rest of your story is well crafted. I'm not thinking you would change anything due to my comments, but just things to think about for future writing (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Scott Marion]

Thank you so much for reviewing! I have been waiting for some constructive criticism. It is very much appreciated! Thank you again.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Good Job on this story! I enjoyed this your first story.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Your Name is Jordan'
Scott Marion,
I kept wondering how in the world did this guy end up here..(just like your main character.) It is a story that has movement and interest and is catchy and interesting. For me some kind of flash back or little memory or a hint of some kind of what and how he ended up in this 'hospital' would be a motivator to make this story even more interesting because interesting it is.
Blessings to you and great write!
Kathy