For The Man Who Wants Me To Love Him All My Life

A list of sorts describing what I need in a man, fun and truthful.

 

For The Man Who Wants Me To Love Him All My Life

 

The first thing you’ve got to do is forget you’re in love with me.

Second, you must never forget you’re in love with me.

 

You should be able to exist as yourself,

            But when I am near become a part of me.

            And if you decide to play Conor when we’re lying in bed

—Don’t tell me his life story. Music appreciation

            Will always be different for me.

 

Keep your boxers on if you must, but don’t

            Expect me to hide my nudity

            When prancing around the living room

            Late at night.

 

Don’t chant whispered sweet nothings in my ear

            During intimate moments because chances are

            You’ll ruin the mood and I’ll probably think you square…

 

Spending the night riding the washing machine

            Really isn’t as appealing as you might think it would be.

 

And if you offend me by being yourself

            Never apologize to me.

            It’s not worth it; I’m just being petty

And regret doesn’t appeal to me.

 

I may sulk and bite my lip or be a pain in your a*s,

            But my mood will eventually shatter

            And it won’t cause me to love you any less.

 

And even if you actually believe that

I am perfection; do not tell me over a candle-lit dinner

While spewing some business about love and gravity,

In fact, you probably shouldn’t tell me at all.

 

My ego doesn’t need to be fed because

The fact of the matter is…

I’ve already got a huge head.

 

What I really mean—if you really love me,

Don’t make it a chore. I wont.

 

I’m very lazy after all.