Street Kids

a cinquain (a french poem with 5 lines with 2, 4, 6, 8 and 2 syllables on each line) actually its a cinq-cinquain which is five cinquains. its pretty depressing, but cinquains normally are.

 

Those kids

Quiet as mice

They don’t speak or make noise

They hide away, fearing abuse

Orphans

 

They sleep

In cold, dark streets

Lonely and unhappy

Longing for love without knowing

Wounded

 

Scared

Terrified kids

Darkness envelops them

No one wants to help the children

No one

 

Someone

Has to find them

Has to help them, aid them

But no one cares or wants to see

Help them

 

Born here

In dark alleys

They will die here as well

Unless someone helps these orphans

Street kids

Author's Note

ignore grammar and depressing mood please (!) the colours are just for mood effect

Reviews

[Nikki]

pretty good! :)

[Emily]

This is very interesting. I really like how you've done this style. You have used few words in each stanza as the style calls for, but you have done it extremely well choosing words which emphasize the emotions you were aiming for. The mood is not so depressing as it is educational. It is extremely truthful.
You selected words which were easy to understand and carried very heavy meanings. I really like what you have done. The colors are for mood effect, but they are not necessary in that way. Your words change the mood and the flow takes you from one feeling to the next.
Very well done, even for a poem about a very sad subject. You have worked it in a way which is absolutely delightful. Nice work! I had never before read this style, or even heard of it. This was a great example for me to learn a bit more about a unique style.