Patient In A Coma

This was the poem I was going to exclusively put on here becuase I'm leaving my myspace profile and submitting new writings here only. But, the shutdown occured and so I had to post this one on myspace once more.

“Patient in a Coma”

My mind is blank
Like a patient in a coma
From an overdose of soma
The longing still lingers on

 

Like a assassin for hire
Or a cabal ready to conspire
To kill a global leader to be free
The longing still lingers on

 

Like a patient in a coma
Or a claustrophobe in an elevator
The yearning for freedom still lingers
As death comes knocking on my door

 

My face is plastered in the obituary
With a vacuous expression like-
A patient in a coma, aspiring for
The white light to radiate my shoulders

 

Before the darkness imprisons me
In the black capsule of space,
Riding my spirit though the annals
Of time, the sun will never shine

 

On my bleak face again
Cachexia has consumed me
I’m weak, waiting to die
Like a patient in a coma
Pining to be released

Author's Note

General opinion and would this make a great song?