Tethered

Tethered

A Poem by w
"

A little more traditional

"
My name, from my lover's lips, it does fall
and there I melt into your whispered call.
Caressing my ears are the words of love.
sending my soul on the wings of a dove;
I’m no longer bound to this earthly form,
into ethereal bliss I transform.

All that from the words that roll off your lips,
think of my response to your fingertips
as they’re resting in the curves of my face
then slowly down my jawline do they trace,
around my collarbone, they dance their dance;
gliding around, leaving me in a trance.

Then into my eyes you intently stare,
letting me know we are a perfect pair.

And in your hand, my hand is tightly bound,
gently bringing me back down to the ground.

© 2012 w


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Featured Review

From my lover's lips, does my name fall.

(It keeps your meter and isn't double-inverted. "Love" and "dove" sounds like a commercial. "Form" and "transform" are the same suffix. The second to last stanza is pretty phenomenal. The rhyme isn't clunky, or cheesy like the dove commercial. Lol. And the last stanza is your crux that relates back to a delicious title. Overall, A minus. Haha. "Face" "trace" really works, btw.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

good story ...keep writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

into ethereal bliss I transform".... those are words written by a true artist. The first line of this piece just totally pulled me in and it made me want to read more. Great job on this

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

w

12 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I wrote it in about 15 minutes in response to someone else's piece they let me re.. read more
Wow, this is entirely lovely. I love the way you expressed the feeling of love taking hold and leaving its effect on each part of your upper body. It's a beautiful read about your emotions for your special someone.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Laura Maidah

12 Years Ago

Lol. What's that like? I am a half-time writer. It kind of sucks for relationships. I pretty much am.. read more
allie_arrowz

12 Years Ago

thanks. new career option.
w

12 Years Ago

I'm the full time writer so you would have to ask her how it is, but I know it involves lots of yell.. read more
I really like how it has a hmm a melody to it. That of course is not thee right word,but i did love it. Makes me think of thee one i love (:

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

like a love story.. great write :) thanks for sharing
- Kuhr Gred

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"into ethereal bliss I transform" Strong, amazing, unique, talented words..left me speechless; breathless..it was beautiful.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Bah, I like "From my lovers lips my name does fall"
"Sending my soul on the wings of doves" ( the "A" seems to throw off the count )
( "leaving me in a trance". maybe "leaving me entranced" counts better- try reading it aloud, but otherwise gorgeous! just gorgeous!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

From my lover's lips, does my name fall.

(It keeps your meter and isn't double-inverted. "Love" and "dove" sounds like a commercial. "Form" and "transform" are the same suffix. The second to last stanza is pretty phenomenal. The rhyme isn't clunky, or cheesy like the dove commercial. Lol. And the last stanza is your crux that relates back to a delicious title. Overall, A minus. Haha. "Face" "trace" really works, btw.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nice write

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the first line..it captured me and pulled me in and made me want more.. You didn't disappoint.. well done :) x

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 28, 2012
Last Updated on June 28, 2012
Tags: love

Author

w
w

Cincinnati, OH



About
I climb inside my mind through the windows to the soul that I sold for a kiss in the fourth grade. I write about the adventures I have in my schizophrenic mind and the scars that my past has left. .. more..

Writing
slanguage slanguage

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