Lost without you

New form

Lost

my arms wrapped around me
holding myself so tightly
rocking back and forth
               missing your touch

trying hard to imagine
               that you are still here 

without you

Author's Note

This is a new form I created a few years back. It has yet to catch on, but I have not really put it out there for people to use.

The first and last lines go together and the first 4 line stanza goes with the first line, however loosely and the last 2 line stanza goes with the last line. The whole piece should tie together.

Reviews

[GunMetal]

I could tell even before I read your note that the first and last line go together, bookending the entire piece. The format was very inventive. Perhaps I'll use it someday.
As for this piece, the 4-line stanza gives me the image of someone in a straitjacket, which I can see going with the line Lost if it refers to the mind. While the 2-line stanza feels much simpler, but easier to relate to. Overall, I'm impressed. Well done.

Amazing form, and more important, amazing message. Keep it up in your own created styles, I like that.

E.L.

[Jordan A. Wilson]

This form is unique and really caught me as a reader. Very nice.

[Kuhr Gred]

hmmm... short.. but the point was well explained.. GREAT WRITE.. thanks for sharing
- Kuhr Gred

[Destinyxi]

Really nice poem. It's short but there's so many more words spoken, actual written words aren't needed, invisible words are floating around the poem without being written. (Hope that blurb made sense haha)

[Emrys Realmskip]

Wow, i really loved this! :) I'm impressed and i really like this style.!
Savvy

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

The form definitely works for your poem. It's very good. A lot of emotional impact here. I can relate in a way.

[MOON]

Lovely form works in this poem

[Alicia Beavis]

I felt you could remove the very first word and in the second line, I felt you could remove the 'so".

This is a piece many people will be able too. You managed to convey such longing for another perfectly in this piece.

[ForeverNever]

I absolutely loved it, so beautiful!
The form is amazing and just proves all the talent you hold. Wondeful read. Wonderful write. I'd like to try this form.