School

School

A Poem by SimplyDisastrous
"

School can be such a horrible place

"

School

 

A horrendous place

You have to wear a different face

One that hides all your emotions,

To emphasize the mere notion

That kids can be brutal, and they won’t

Stop until they get what they want

So, it’s hard to be nonchalant

When they verbally abuse you

And mentally and physically use you

In this prison of learning,

You’re yearning to go home

Where you’re safe and sound.

 

~

© 2010 SimplyDisastrous


Author's Note

SimplyDisastrous
Please, keep in mind that I wrote this out of some of my experiences. School CAN be a horrible place but not always. I just wrote it from my point of view, with the idea that some people think this way, too. And it doesn't necessarily mean I hate school, either. I actually kind of like it. But...yeah, well you get the picture.

Tell me what you thought. Also, I don't think I used the word "Notion" correctly...

My Review

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I feel like it was a really cookie-cutter kind of poem filled with too many cliches and not enough of you. Yes, you may not have enjoyed your school experience but there's nothing in this work that makes me believe it. For all I know you could've just written this as a means of getting reviews by writing a poem based solely on its relatability. Include your personal experience in your work in detail! Putting out generalized pieces like this do nothing to comment on who YOU are as a person or what YOUR experiences have been like in your life and that robs the reader of any sort of meaningful experience. Before you submit anymore pieces anywhere you should first ask the question "Does anyone else have anything else like this?" Second: "Could someone duplicate this if they didn't have this experience?" And third: "Will this poem stand out after people have read it and 100 other pieces?"

I feel like for you on this piece all 3 answers are no. I've seen plenty of literature about school angst, I have read plenty of literature about school angst from people who enjoyed their school experience, and in a sea of 100 poems I wouldn't remember yours unfortunately because it's too similar to everything else in the market.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Cool poem :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I feel like it was a really cookie-cutter kind of poem filled with too many cliches and not enough of you. Yes, you may not have enjoyed your school experience but there's nothing in this work that makes me believe it. For all I know you could've just written this as a means of getting reviews by writing a poem based solely on its relatability. Include your personal experience in your work in detail! Putting out generalized pieces like this do nothing to comment on who YOU are as a person or what YOUR experiences have been like in your life and that robs the reader of any sort of meaningful experience. Before you submit anymore pieces anywhere you should first ask the question "Does anyone else have anything else like this?" Second: "Could someone duplicate this if they didn't have this experience?" And third: "Will this poem stand out after people have read it and 100 other pieces?"

I feel like for you on this piece all 3 answers are no. I've seen plenty of literature about school angst, I have read plenty of literature about school angst from people who enjoyed their school experience, and in a sea of 100 poems I wouldn't remember yours unfortunately because it's too similar to everything else in the market.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem is great, and you captured the view of a student. And using your intuition of the harm students are mean.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yes sometime we must create a protection shell from other. i was lucky and i didn't give a damn about other opinions. A very good poem. School been the same for many years.
Coyote

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Notion is used corrected, and it does ring true. I went to a school with richer kids than I and always had to hide my contempt for their lifestyles, my hatred of their moans about hours with cellphones or one lost trip to Six Flags when I went home to a cold can of green beans or whatever else the food ministry was so kind as to give us.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That's was sooooo true!I ca't agree more!
Really, it seems that whenever you go to school, you wear masks, respect to teachers and principal, even you don't.
When you describe school as prison, it's pretty cool!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ah, the high school years.... it's almost a shame that I'm still in them. You fabulously portrayed a view of the jungle that is high school. Cynical, yet clear cut... A beautiful read

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I feel the exact same way. I am a completely different person at school. The quiet, well behaved, smart Emma. I hate having to feel that way. At school certain people have verbally abused me, of course I shot some smart comment back at them, but it still hurts. As you get older and older it gets harder to fit n and feel comfortable. I either love school or I hate it. It's an emotionally and physically taxing place to have to spend 8:40 to 4:00 at. That is EIGHT hours!!!! Everyday I watch cheerleaders and football players yell and laugh and do whatever they want and then see my friend get detention for banging a water bottle on a table. Some teachers just dont understand that we are CHILDREN. We have energy, we laugh, we are not mindless bodies with no sense of humor like some teachers at my school. ARGH! This like da ja vu. ( Is that spelled right?????) Wonderful job Kristen.


-Your friend and fellow writer,

-:-EverEmma-:-

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love school, too-wow I'm so weird-and miss it and my friends.
I've been bullied, too. I know what it's like and this poem captures it perfectly. I agree entirely with Shayna's review. People suck. Bullying doesn't get better. And school isn't the safe place it's made out to be.

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Yes it can be an awful place but i love it. It's great! Looooooove it!

Posted 14 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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13 Reviews
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Added on August 18, 2010
Last Updated on August 18, 2010

Author

SimplyDisastrous
SimplyDisastrous

Hartford, CT



About
Hey. I used to be on here alot when I was 15. Now, not so much. I'm 18 now and I'm not nearly as depressing as I used to be, but still depressing enough. Message me and feel free to read my old poems... more..

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